Chapter 197: Be Good, Big Sister Will Give You Candy

  Satania slipped off her shoes and put on a pair of house slippers by the door. She practically bounced as she rushed into the apartment, her bright red hair swaying behind her like a banner of chaos. The moment her eyes landed on Gabriel, who sat in front of her computer in her usual slouched posture, eyes glued to the glowing screen, Satania struck a dramatic pose and pointed with a flourish.

  "Gabriel! I knew you were hiding here!"

  Gabriel didn’t even turn around. Her hand continued to click lazily on the mouse. "What do you want?"

  "I’m here to duel you, of course!" Satania declared proudly, puffing out her chest like a hero proclaiming war.

  "Oh," Gabriel murmured, still staring at the monitor. Her tone was as flat as day-old soda. "Not interested."

  "W-What?! You can’t just brush me off like that!" Satania’s voice went up an octave, her little fang glinting as she stomped her foot. "I came all the way here just for this!"

  "Pretend I don’t exist."

  "You’re literally sitting right there! How am I supposed to ignore that?!" Satania shouted, gesturing wildly.

  Gabriel finally turned her head, her sleepy golden eyes barely open. She spoke slowly, as if imparting wisdom. "Sometimes, Satania… people need to learn the art of pretending not to hear."

  Satania blinked. "Huh?"

  "Like when someone asks you to lend them money and you really don’t want to. Or when your editor’s demanding updates, but you haven’t written a single line in days."

  Satania’s face twisted in confusion. "What nonsense are you even talking about?!"

  Gabriel shrugged and turned back to her game. "Just saying."

  "Enough! You’ll regret underestimating me today!" Satania announced, pulling something from behind her back. It was a small, shiny, black plastic bow barely the size of her hand. She posed proudly, eyes sparkling. "Behold! This is my latest weapon, freshly purchased from the Demon Realm Shopping Channel! Anyone struck by its arrow will be forced to speak the phrase I choose!"

  Before Gabriel could even respond, a cheerful voice interrupted from behind.

  "Satania-sama, that’s incredible! Truly amazing!"

  Kouya, sitting on the couch with a drink in hand, nearly spat it out.

  Of course. The number one stalker had arrived.

  Raphael.

  She appeared as if summoned by the mere mention of Satania’s name, smiling with angelic radiance that only made her aura of mischief stronger.

  Vigne poked her head out of the kitchen, looking surprised. "Raphael? How did you even get in here?"

  Raphael smiled serenely, clasping her hands together. "Wherever Satania-sama goes, I will always appear."

  Vigne sighed heavily. "Stop appearing like that! You think you’re a bamboo shoot sprouting out of the ground?!"

  Meanwhile, Satania stood tall, striking what she believed was a fearsome pose. "Gabriel, tremble before my arrow!"

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  The room fell into complete silence.

  Everyone just stared at her. The only sound was the faint hum of Gabriel’s computer.

  Satania blinked, her confident smile starting to waver. "H-Hey… why aren’t any of you saying anything?"

  Because there were no words. Because no one knew what to say to such an embarrassing display.

  Finally, Raphael broke the silence with an overly sweet tone. "Satania-sama… you’re absolutely magnificent."

  Magnificent?! Kouya nearly choked. In what universe?!

  Raphael continued, her smile growing wider. "As expected of the future Queen of Hell! To wield such a dangerous weapon—how bold! How powerful!"

  Satania glowed with pride, puffing her chest even higher. "Hehehe, I know, I know. Prepare yourself, Gabriel! You won’t escape this time!"

  Gabriel blinked slowly, then raised a hand. "Wait a second."

  Satania froze mid-laugh. "Eh?"

  "You haven’t tested that thing yet, have you? What if it’s a cheap fake? There’s tons of knockoffs from the Demon Realm market. You don’t want to look like an idiot when it doesn’t work, right? Here, let me check it for you." Gabriel’s calm voice carried a strangely persuasive edge.

  Satania hesitated, gripping her new toy protectively. Something about this felt off.

  "Come on," Gabriel said, pretending to sound bored. "What? You scared I’ll find out you bought a fake?"

  "It’s not fake!" Satania barked, her face red.

  Without further thought, she handed the bow over.

  Gabriel turned it over in her hands, testing the string. Then, without warning, she pulled it back and fired.

  The tiny arrow zipped through the air and smacked Satania right on the forehead with a satisfying pop.

  "Ahh—!" Satania let out a dramatic cry and collapsed onto the floor, limbs sprawled.

  Kouya’s jaw dropped. He almost dropped his drink again.

  So this was her way of ‘testing’ it?! Using Satania as a guinea pig?! Pure evil!

  Gabriel stared down at the little bow, nodding thoughtfully. "Yep, seems to work perfectly fine. Satania—"

  Just then, from the TV, a soft, cute voice echoed: "Big sister~!"

  Satania, who was just about to yell, suddenly blurted, "Damn you, Gabi-chan—Big sister!"

  Everyone froze.

  Satania’s face went scarlet. She clamped her hands over her mouth in horror.

  Gabriel smirked, leaning back. "Satania?"

  Satania trembled. Against her will, her voice came out high and squeaky. "Big sister!"

  Gabriel yawned lazily. "Good girl. Big sister will give you candy."

  "Aaaaaah!" Satania screamed, her entire face crimson. "You evil, manipulative angel! I’ll never forgive you!"

  "Satania."

  "B-Big sister!" The words escaped again, this time with tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She looked utterly defeated.

  Vigne groaned, rubbing her forehead. "Alright, Gabi-chan, that’s enough. Stop bullying her already. Since everyone’s here, let’s just eat together."

  Gabriel shrugged. "She started it."

  Raphael clasped her hands like a saint. "Ahh, being able to enjoy Vigne-chan’s cooking—it’s truly a blessing."

  Kouya stared at the group in disbelief. Was this really happening? His apartment was overrun by angels and demons acting like they owned the place.

  Meanwhile, Satania sat on the couch, arms crossed, pouting fiercely. Then she noticed Raphael’s sparkling eyes locked onto her.

  "W-What are you looking at?"

  Raphael smiled. "Satania-sama…"

  Satania flinched. "Don’t—don’t say it!"

  Too late.

  Her body betrayed her. Her lips moved on their own. "Big sister!"

  Raphael gasped theatrically. "Amazing! How graceful! The very image of demonic dominance!"

  Satania’s voice cracked. "B-Big sister! Stop looking at me like that!"

  Finally, after nearly a minute, the cursed effect faded. Satania slumped onto the sofa like a puppet whose strings were cut.

  She turned to Kouya weakly. "Servant, hand me the remote. I’m watching something else."

  Kouya’s temple twitched. First his computer, then his snacks, and now his TV. What kind of nightmare day was this?! (╯‵□′）╯︵┻━┻!

  At least Raphael had wandered off to the kitchen to ‘help’ Vigne cook… though knowing her, Kouya wasn’t sure if that was comforting or terrifying.

  A few minutes passed in uneasy peace—until Satania suddenly straightened, as if struck by inspiration. She dug into her pocket and pulled out a can of cola, grinning from ear to ear. Marching over to Gabriel, she placed it dramatically on the desk.

  "Gabriel! I bought you this special cola!" she announced proudly.

  Gabriel eyed it suspiciously. "What’s this?"

  Satania whistled, eyes darting everywhere but at her. "N-Nothing! Just… a gesture of friendship!"

  Gabriel squinted, noticing the tiny demonic seal printed near the bottom. The label clearly read Infernal Cola Company. Her expression remained flat. "Not drinking it."

  "W-Why not? It’s totally safe!" Satania said quickly.

  "That’s exactly why I’m not drinking it."

  Before the red-haired demon could protest further, Vigne’s voice called cheerfully from the kitchen. "Alright, everyone, wash up! Lunch is ready!"

  Instantly, Satania’s eyes lit up like stars. Her irritation vanished, replaced with uncontainable joy. She abandoned her cursed cola without hesitation and bolted toward the kitchen, shouting, "Coming!"