Amara had chosen her timing well.

  Our experiments were currently progressing while we waited for the various reactions to conclude, which meant we didn’t have anything to do for a solid ten minutes. Furthermore, Alys was thoroughly distracted. She had obviously tuned out our chatter, which was too quiet for her to follow along anyway, and was just starting another attempt at shaping flameshard glass by her will alone,

  There were three of us in that room, but I might as well have been alone with Amara.

  “I will be direct.” Amara’s face contained none of the cheer and friendliness I’d gotten used to. It was completely blank, with only conviction shining through her eyes. “My mother will try to convince you to follow her back to her lair. Do not let her do it.”

  When I failed to respond immediately, Amara’s expression faltered. Her next word came out as barely a whisper, and desperate.

  “Please?”

  I wasn’t going to lie to myself. The idea of letting Shaessath hide us away from the world had become steadily more tempting since I learned that Alys and I would be having a child. The threat of the Courts, the many things that could go wrong out on the frontier… Danger seemed to be pressing in on me, even if I was doing my best not to think about it. The urge to throw up defenses between Alys and the world grew harder to resist every day.

  “Can I ask why?” I finally managed. “I am not saying no. I would simply like to understand.”

  Amara made an effort to gather herself. She giggled, but it was a sad, tired sound. “I understand the temptation. I do! It’s awfully hypocritical to ask this of you when I gave into her urging the moment I learned I was pregnant with Alys. I just don’t want to see my sweet hatchling go through the same things I did, or for your child to grow up the way Alys had to.”

  I blinked in confusion, but did not interrupt her.

  “I used to have plans. Dreams, really. I wanted to travel, to explore, to… Well, it doesn’t matter. It was just easier to let Mother wrap us up in her coils and guard us, like we were her hoard. I just… let her control my life, until I felt like I was one of her possessions rather than her daughter. Worse, I understood why she acted like that.”

  She paused, fiddling with the vials of perfume we’d already finished.

  “The moment I held Alys in my arms, I wanted nothing but the best for her. I wanted to give her everything she needed, to be there for her always… to protect her. From everything. So, I understood. I probably focused on Alys even more than I might have otherwise, because I felt stifled and out of options and frustrated and…”

  Again, she paused. Seconds later, the snarl building up on her features smoothed away to be replaced by a quick, mirthless giggle.

  “Anyway, when Alys was starting to become more independent, she ventured outside without supervision and got hurt. I panicked. It wasn’t even anything serious, but I felt the urge to squeeze her close and refuse to let go. Then I realized that’s exactly what my mother was doing, and I panicked all over again. I… tried to strike a balance at first, but I ended up just pulling away. I distracted myself with anything I could get my hands on.”

  I wanted to say something reassuring, but she didn’t look like she needed that. She looked like she just needed someone to listen.

  “I think I hurt Alys by pulling away, but I had no idea what else to do. I didn’t want to encroach on my daughter’s life and give into the need to control it just because I was worried. I should have talked to Soren about it. He was always good at supporting her without stifling her. But I felt so ashamed that I had even considered acting like my mother.”

  She looked me in the eye again, something she had refused to do while explaining herself. I almost flinched at the intensity of her gaze.

  “My mother does want what’s best for all of us, but once you get sucked into her influence, it gets harder and harder to leave. Alys left. She had the courage to do it! And even then, I couldn’t force myself to follow my sweet hatchling, or to put some distance between me and my mother. It was just easier to stay and let things remain the same. Did you know this is the first time I’ve left her lair since before meeting Soren?”

  It was both touching and a tad ironic that what had gotten Amara out was the threat of Alys getting hurt: the very same thing she claimed had pushed her deeper into her own mother’s arms.

  “I don’t want that kind of life for Alys. I don’t want her to shut herself away in my mother’s lair until she no longer has enough courage even to set foot outside. I want my daughter to be happy. And while I never did so, I don’t want there to be even a chance of her resenting her own child for getting her stuck. Or of her thinking she needs to distance herself from them for their own good. I didn’t enjoy doing that. Not at all.”

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  The bitterness in her voice was certainly proof enough of her words. Still, for a moment, I was almost tempted to say she was exaggerating things. That we could stay at Shaessath’s lair just until Alys had safely given birth, away from all the potential threats.

  Except… when would be the right moment to leave afterwards? When our child had just been born, and they were soft and vulnerable? When they’d grown up a little, and wanted to play and explore? When they were all grown up and ready to take their own risks and make horrible decisions?

  I could certainly see myself delaying the moment of our departure again and again, until I no longer felt secure in leaving at all.

  Amara pressed on. “Besides, I want your child to grow up the way children are supposed to: free to play, to explore, to meet people! With friends. Alys didn’t get to have that. There were kobold children, certainly, but they’ve always treated us with a reverence I never liked. And we always kept Alys either in the lair or its immediate vicinity, where my mother’s defenses were still up.”

  I winced. I knew what that was like, because I’d lived through it.

  Unbidden, my mind drifted back to my first encounters with Alys. I had been a lot more uncertain, while trying to keep it hidden beneath a veneer of confidence. Alys, on the other hand, had been a lot more… prickly, let us say, at the start. Standoffish, even.

  I almost found it funny that neither of us had known how best to approach getting to know someone, or even being friendly. Granted, I still had a long way to go in this area, as revealed by Alys’ recent intervention to organize an evening with friends.

  There, too, my dragoness’ courage and initiative had shone through. This conversation had shown me me that Alys wasn’t any better off than I was when it came to early lessons on friendly socializing, but she was still trying. Perhaps the time she’d spent on the road with the rest of the townsfolk had helped? It was possible, but that didn’t diminish the bravery of Alys’ actions.

  Amara was still waiting for my answer. And all this self-reflection had forced me to realize I could give only one response to her plea.

  “I won’t let Shaessath talk us into going back with you. I promise.” I let out an explosive sigh. “That doesn’t mean the danger is any less real, though. The Courts are a true threat. If news of my presence here ever reaches them…”

  I shuddered, imagining the sort of fury Autumn could bring to bear in response to my betrayal. If that catastrophe came to pass, I didn’t want Alys and our unborn child anywhere near it.

  “We are going to need to do something to increase security around here,” I muttered. “We’ll need proper defenses, too. And most of what I can do would be blatantly fae in nature.”

  “I am sure we can convince my mother to help,” Amara said cheerfully, her smile back in full as she patted my hand. “Also, dear, I think that batch is done.”

  She pointed at our work, and I realized we’d gotten a bit too distracted with our chat. I bit back a curse and rushed to intervene. After I saved the batch, things slowly settled back into the pace we’d established before Amara’s initiation of that weighty conversation.

  Now that I was looking for them, however, the cracks in her demeanor were blatantly obvious.

  How much of her chipper attitude was genuine, and how much was forced? There was an exhaustion and listlessness behind her expression that shone through at times, even if I also glimpsed sparks of steely determination and genuine happiness.

  It wasn’t that Amara was miserable, I decided. But I also believed she would have preferred to spend more time simply holding her daughter close and enjoying the fact that she was somewhere other than her mother’s home. Instead, she was pushing herself to follow Alys’ schedule and desires. She was doing whatever she could to keep my dragoness happy, as if desperately trying to make up for the neglect she had freely admitted to.

  And Alys liked it. I could tell from the way she lit up when her mother engaged with her, and how she seemed to be subtly showing off her abilities in Amara’s presence.

  I did, however, wonder how long Amara could continue pushing herself like that… and whether she would approach her daughter to share the same story she had shared with me.

  I couldn’t speak for Alys, but I bitterly wished my parents had a reason for everything they put me through. Not the training, of course. That was necessary for the way the Court functioned, and with Autumn’s expectations of me looming in my future. But the smaller, more hurtful things? Their increasingly frequent absences whenever my training didn’t demand their presence, or being cut off from other children… I was only just coming to terms with the shards of anger and hurt buried deep inside me from those realities of my upbringing.

  “You should say all of this to Alys.”

  I was barely aware I’d spoken out loud. Only when Amara froze did I stiffen and look up. She slowly turned to stare at me out of the corner of her eye, a question shining there without a word being uttered.

  “You should talk to her, explain things, and apologize. Though I can’t promise she won’t get angry, I can promise that she’ll feel better afterwards. You might not, but…” I shrugged, returning my focus to the perfume just so I didn’t have to meet Amara’s gaze. “You love your daughter, so I imagine you would have no qualms with that tradeoff.”

  She said nothing for a long few moments. I spent the time soaking in doubt, embarrassment, and a quiet dread that I had somehow managed to alienate a whole new mother figure, one who had only just entered my life.

  Finally, she spoke.

  “You are right. I’ll… I’ll talk to her. Later. I need to find the right moment to do it.”

  I wasn’t sure which of us she was trying to convince by saying that, but I simply nodded, relief almost taking my breath away.

  She wasn’t angry with me! More importantly, Alys would hopefully appreciate the gesture her mother was making. That would be worth the stress all on its own. Even if there was a possibility that she might be upset with me for nudging her mother this way…

  I sighed. There was always something to worry about if I let myself.

  Noble Fae though I was, perhaps I needed to work on my confidence some more.

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