Taking a deep breath, I carefully and quietly stack another cookie onto Penelope's forehead. The carrot cookie softly lands on the tower of cookies that I have dubbed the Carrot Stand. With precision, I pull away and admire the work of art that I have made. Penelope, on the other hand, isn’t as amused.

  “I’m going to throw you when this wears off,” she says as she glares at me.

  “Like you could.”

  Penelope grunts as she tries to move. The Carrot Stand remains perfectly still as she fails to move a single muscle.

  “To think the great and powerful Penelope would be taken out by a simple toad. A toad. Really, Penelope?” I ask as I put my back up against the Dungeon wall.

  “Oh, like you’re one to talk. You also got hit by that toad. You can’t even move your legs,” she reminds, glaring at me from the corner of her eye.

  “Ok, maybe we’re both at fault. Who would think that a cute and cuddly little toad would actually be extremely quick?” I say, remembering the demon toad.

  “Not to mention it was strong too. One hit from that thing sent me flying back into the maze.”

  “Well, good thing it wasn’t hardy. We could’ve actually died there. To think ‘Killed by a toad at the exit of a Dungeon floor,’ would’ve been written on our tombstones. That toad wouldn’t have sneaked up on us if Hopper were here,” I lament.

  Penelope tries to nod. “It’s times like these that I recognise how important he is to the party dynamic. I know this is a lot to ask, but tell me the truth-”

  “Yes, the way you style your hair into drills is inconvenient and frankly distracting. I’ve been meaning to tell you. Thanks for bringing it up,” I say as I take a cookie from the Carrot Stand.

  “First of all, I didn’t bring that up. Second of all, my hairstyle is what’s popular amongst all noble girls my age.”

  Taking a bite from the cookie, I stare deep into her eyes. “Penelope, I’ve spent a whole month now in this University. There’s not a single person who wears their hair like you do. Not a single one, Penelope! If it was a trend, it’s over.”

  “Fine, it’s not popular, but I like it. I think it makes me look dignified,” she says with a huff.

  “Dignified? That’s what you were going for? At best, it makes you look cute,” I say as I take another cookie.

  “Enough! What I was trying to say is, do you think we’re pulling our weight?” she says as a hint of red dyes the tip of her ears.

  “What do you mean? Like weight training? I’m not really the exercise type,” I say as I feed her a cookie.

  “No, I didn’t mean exercise. Hopper has already secured a victory in the Class War. I’m saying, should we as the Rank 1s challenge somebody… or something like that?” she says as she takes a bite of the cookie.

  “I mean, we still have the rest of the month until the Class War is over. Do we really have to rush it?”

  “You’re not wrong. We could wait the month out and see how things shake out, but we risk losing morale. After all, we’ve only won two duels out of twenty.”

  “Wait, we won another duel? Who?” I ask as I flip through the catalogue of names in my head. “Was it Ruby, Garus, Viola, or even William? He seems like a strong fella.”

  “It was Julian Brodero,” she says with a sigh.

  “Who?”

  She gives me a befuddled look. “The guy you fought in a duel. Flashy, rapier, lost the duel via slipping on one of your pebbles,” she reminds.

  “Oh, that guy! I remember him. I got a good cookie recipe off of him. He’s not in the advanced class. Who’d he win against?”

  “Surprisingly, he won against Rank 22 for the second years. It was apparently a brutal fight that he barely eked out a win. I wouldn’t be surprised if he made it into the advanced class before the end of the quarter,” she says.

  “So, where does that put us point-wise?”

  “Twenty to eighteen. We’re twenty by the way. It may seem like we’re winning, but based on the losses that we’re taking. We’ll be left in the dust in no time. I think we should step in and challenge some people before the losses start to mount,” she suggests.

  “Not to be… lazy, but can’t the rest of the advanced class do some of these duels? I mean, us stepping out is a little bit of overkill, don’t you think?” I say, hoping to dissuade her.

  “Viola already did. She got challenged by a second year and lost pretty badly,” she says with a sour look.

  “When did this happen?”

  “Yesterday, after class. In fact, Garus, Ruby, and Talon were also challenged. It was a one-sided slaughter on all fronts,” she says with a hint of anger.

  Shocked, I let the Carrot Stand fall. “They all lost? How? I thought they were the best the first years have to offer.”

  “They are. They were all challenged after class, and their individual opponents seemed almost tailor-made to counter them. Viola’s paint magic was hard countered by fire, Garus’s fire magic was steamed away by water, Ruby’s magic was useless against a flying opponent, and Talon was grounded using wind magic, leaving him defenceless,” she rattles off.

  If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

  With a smile on my face, I pick a cookie off the ground and eat it. “I see. We got jumped.”

  “Why are you smiling about that?” she says with an annoyed look.

  “Simple, Penelope, they started it. Which means, I don’t have to pretend to be sorry when I get back at them,” I say as I loosen my tie.

  “Pretend?”

  “Do you really want to focus on that right now, or do you want to win?” I ask with a devilish smile.

  Penelope looks me in the eyes. “I want to win.”

  “Then let's have a class meeting,” I say as I try to get up and spectacularly fall flat on my face.

  “We’re still poisoned, you dunce.”

  Face down on the ground, I groan. “I realised.”

  Shutting the door of the Assassin club, I look over at my fellow classmates, or at least the ones that I could scrounge together on short notice. Which turned out to be almost half the class. Well, technically, half the class, if you count me, and if you don’t count Hopper, who’s still in the infirmary. Ah, that’s complicated. Basically, I managed to scrounge together four teams.

  Garus clears his throat to get my attention. “Are you going to stand there for the rest of eternity, or are you going to start?” he asks with an annoyed tone.

  Viola sighs. “That’s a lot of attitude, Lord Garus. I didn’t realise your small stature could hold it all,” she says out of nowhere.

  Garus looks over at her with disdain in his eyes. “You would think an Elf would learn not to judge the stature of us humans. Especially after the war.”

  Talon bellows out a hearty laugh. “This is fun. Did we all meet up to fight? If so, I’m raring to go. Viola, your paintings could use some work. Garus, you have the charisma of a rock.”

  Ok, maybe this was a bad idea. I guess I haven’t checked in with my classmates recently and forgot that they’re volatile balls of emotions just raring to explode. Except for Talon. I can’t tell what’s happening there. I really haven’t talked to him. Garus obviously doesn’t like Viola for reasons, and Viola feels the same. This should be the basis of good teamwork.

  Penelope rubs her eyes as she waits for me to start. I told her I would handle this, and I guess I should start. Now, how do I break up the fighting? I could do this calmly, but where’s the fun in that?

  Taking a deep breath in, I yell, “Oi, you sorry pieces of shit! Can you shut it!”

  The room looks stunned at the sudden cursing.

  “Good, you’re quiet. The Assassin club only lent me the room for an hour, so let's get started. By a show of hands, how many of you have lost a duel already?”

  Everyone in the room, barring Penelope and I raise their hands.

  “Now, keep your hand up if you got your ass handed to you,” I say, noting that none of the hands go down.

  Garus scratches his head. “It’s not my fault that I went up against a water magic user.”

  “Nor is it mine for going up against a fire magic user,” Viola adds.

  The whole room pipes up as they basically complain.

  “Yes, yes, I hear you all. It’s no one's fault that you all suck!” I say with glee.

  Penelope gives a shocked look.

  “Or at least that’s what the second years are thinking. They think you’re all too stupid to realise that you’ve been bamboozled. Played like the fiddles that you are,” I say with a giant smile on my face.

  Ruby speaks up, “What do you mean? How were we tricked? It seemed like the duels were fair.”

  “And that’s exactly my point, Ruby. They weren’t. Did any of you know the [Skills] that your opponents had before you fought them? Did you figure out what there [Blessing] was about? Did you even care to find out the kind of personality that they have? Worst of all, have you all [Level Up] fifteen times since the last time I saw?” I ask without letting them answer.

  Garus gives me an annoyed look. “Get to the point already.”

  “Of course, my friend. Let me cut right to the point. You’re the only ones who are under the delusion that this is a fair fight. It’s not. They have higher [Levels], [Attributes], and more [Skills]. Not to mention, they seemingly know each of your weaknesses and are coordinated. On the other hand, you know nothing about them and are running around like headless chickens. Did that paint a clear enough picture for all of you?” I ask to the silent room.

  Viola rubs her temple. “So, you’re saying we’ve basically already lost?”

  With a devilish smile, I look over the room. “Not if we do exactly what I have planned, and I mean exactly. No deviations and no side quests.”

  Garus gives me a scornful look before letting out a sigh. “What do you have planned?”

  “Simple, really. We need to avoid any and all duels for the next week. I don’t care how you do it. Hide, cower, and beg if you have to. We don’t duel anybody.”

  Talon cocks his head in confusion. “What’s the point in that? How are we going to win the Class War if we don’t participate?”

  “Because losing every match is certainly helping us. I’m not saying you do nothing. In fact, I want you to do a lot of things. I want you all to gather as much information about the second years as you can,” I explain.

  Viola lets out a chuckle. “I see. We’re doing market research.”

  “Exactly, Viola. We’re going to do to them what they did to us. Let's find the perfect match for each and every one of you.”

  Garus nods along. “I understand the idea, but how are we going to deal with the top three? They’re basically monsters compared to us. They don’t have exploitable weaknesses,” he says with envy.

  Penelope walks over and pats me on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about that. We’ll take care of them. Isn’t that right, ‘Chosen One’?” she asks with a sweet smile.

  She doesn’t have to back me into a corner. I was going to do it anyway.

  “That’s right. You count on us. We are your Rank 1s after all. I’m sure we can handle it,” I [Lie].