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Chapter 42: Studio Tour

  The 30th floor opens up onto a helipad with a helicopter that we take down in seconds. The whole thing feels way too easy and totally unimportant.

  We head into studio 12 after that. I'm sure it's some other movie reference but it doesn't matter. We clear it, though we have to rely on Quins using ice arrows to finish the monster. Or was it fire arrows? Doesn't matter. We didn't find a 6th tier monster for me to fight. Ah well.

  7/18

  Hollywood Sign dungeon, Lot 11-15

  2:55 PM

  “Dude, nice ring. What's it do?” asks Ivy. She's pointing at the Damascus steel ring on my finger.

  “The best thing ever,” I reply back. Mercy blushes.

  “So flight?” asks Odysseus.

  “Emotionally, sure,” I answer.

  “Wait,” says Quins. “You two... Are you two...” He points back and forth between me and Mercy. “Holding out on loot?” Mercy puts her hands over her mouth to stifle a laugh. “You gotta share, mate! Rules you yerself came up with!”

  Odysseus, who, unlike Quins, has at least average Wisdom, looks between us and just says to me, “congratulations.” Then he moves forward to studio 13.

  “Congratulations for what?” Ivy asks me. I just smile ear to ear. “Congratulations for what?” she asks Odysseus, trailing after him.

  -----

  Studio 13 is made up like an abandoned hospital. It contains guys in sports masks carrying tools as weapons. These guys take quite a lot of punishment, but aren't fast enough to get us. They have some ability to teleport when nobody is looking at them. I just rely on my radar and Ping abilities to keep track of them. Killing all 13 of them takes about an hour though.

  Studio 14 is full of zombies. Unfortunately for the zombies it's also a wide open corn field. Which quickly gets torched. The zombies start on fire, Mercy, Quins and I open up with wide area attacks, and we sweep the studio in minutes.

  I have to take a break after that, and go off by myself to take off my armor where nobody else can get infected. I'm starting to feel pain in my fingertips and in my temples. The Scourge disease starts there, from what I've read. It radiates out from your toes, fingers and temples, then the pain spreads until it covers you, feeling like a full body migraine. It sounds awful. I've got protection via my subclass chicanery, but nobody else does. So I've got to stay away. Stay away from her especially. I can't let Mercy get this thing.

  I'm going to get married. To her. Me, with her. That incredible, sexy, smart, funny girl? Wow.

  After I've recharged, I suit back up and head over to my allies.

  I open up studio 15 expecting more humdrum horror monsters. Those things are only scary because the protagonists of those movies forget that literally anything not nailed down can be a weapon. A guy with a machete? Please, I could fend him off with a clothes iron. Man with claw hands? I could wrap up those shitty weapons with a blanket. Chainsaw guy? ...Huh. I don't know how to easily beat a chainsaw.

  “How would you beat a chainsaw man with common objects?” I ask the group.

  “You don't?” replies Mercy. “That's kind of the point of the manga. Jun, have you still not read Chainsaw Man?”

  Shrugging, I say, “I'll get to it when I get to it.”

  “Mate, that one is bloody brilliant, the characters are hilarious,” replies Quins.

  Odysseus says, “the author has a cinematic eye.”

  Even Ivy says, “Chainsaw Man is the most metal comic I've ever read.”

  Huh. How can any one series be metal and hilarious and artistic? “I guess I'll read it soon then. When I get back home.”

  Mercy chides my ignorance. “Jun you can just read it on the Shonen Jump app,”

  “Or Manga+,” says Ivy.

  “Why do I keep getting assaulted for not knowing popular media?” I ask rhetorically. “I'm already playing through the Zeldas like you guys made me.” I walk through the studio doors into what looks like the Arizona desert. Large red rock formations and the occasional cactus are the only things around.

  “There's nothing ‘ere,” says Quins, scanning the horizon. It's daytime but there's no visible sun.

  “Wait,” Ivy says, pointing up. “Up there. Jets?”

  We see a trio of jet fighters high up in the sky.

  “I'm not fighting a jet,” Odysseus says.

  “My arrows are quick but not that quick,” says Quins.

  The jets are just black outlines in the sky, but they turn and seem to be descending towards us.

  “If they fire missiles, hit the exit,” I say to the team. I turn and see the exit close, then the edge of the door turns red. “Or not.”

  Atmos Mind! Chimerablood Rise!

  Roiling clouds. The sky dragon roars!

  This armor is black and neon pink, patterned after an Asian dragon, or long gui. The armor looks scaled and the helmet has whiskers out the top and to each side. My gloves are clawed in short, thick claws. The armor is thin and sleek and looks built for speed.

  I fly up, with Mercy already taking to the sky with her mecha-style Angle Frame costume. I notice how the costume shows off her thighs, how her wide hips are coated in tight blue armor and the bikini cut bottom shows off slivers of her generous ass and I just think to myself, “I get to marry her?” Also, she's wielding a beam spear and has a chain gun on her right arm. She's just the whole package, really.

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  I un-distract myself and focus on the rapidly approaching jets. I summon ten Atmos arms and get ready to intercept any attack. When the jets get within 500 feet, aimed straight down at the ground where Quins, Odysseus and Ivy are, I begin to worry they're kamikazes. But when they get to 100 feet above us, they assuage my fears by transforming. Oh. They're not dungeon vehicles, they're dungeon monsters.

  Decievertron Skyscrapper. Tier 6. A transforming robot jet based on the F-14 Tomcat. Has guns and missiles, but for some reason always attacks from up close.

  Possible loot: Guns, missiles, transformation core.

  That one is grey and red. I scan the second one which is blue and white.

  Decievertron Aircutter.

  And the last one which is black and yellow. Aside from the names and colors they're identical.

  Decievertron Nighthawk.

  Skyscrapper lands with its feet first, creating a small Crater around it and sending out a shockwave through the desert floor. Odysseus, who has the lowest Agility in our group, stumbles and falls to a knee. In robot form Skyscrapper is almost 40 feet tall. And talks.

  “Human scum!” it shouts in a digitized, high pitched male voice. “The Deceivetrons have come to your planet-” With tremendous WHOMPS the other two land after transforming, flanking the not-quite-giant robot. “To conquer and take all of your energy!”

  Mercy and I fly down to their level. “Kinetic or potential?” I ask.

  “What?” Skyscrapper bellows.

  I decide to be argumentative with the possibly killer robot. “You said energy. There's two main types, kinetic and potential. Which type?”

  “The kind we can form into Enerhex cells!” Aircutter shouts. His voice is also high pitched and digital and hilarious.

  Mercy and I are flying at about eye-level with these three. The cockpit of the Tomcat folded down to form a chest while the intakes folded out to form arms, and the engines folded out into legs. The result is rather skinny robots with wings folded behind them like a cloak. Or dress. And the missiles attached to their wings are now pointed straight up, so I'm pretty sure those aren't useful anymore.

  Skyscrapper's right forearm folds out a thin sword. Compared to the rest of the body it looks like a knife, but compared to me it looks like a greatsword. “I have no time for your petty queries!” he shrilly shouts.

  My brain does instant analysis. Three enemies. Possibly melee, probably ranged attacks as well. Flight. High speed. No cover for Quins, Ivy, Odysseus. Distraction? Probably. But three opponents. Can't assume I'd distract them all. Unknown enemy Toughness and durability. Tier 6, so probably tough. Star Swarm right away? That doesn't provide cover or escape. I'm in Atmos Mind right now. I have Typhoon Punch hands to use. Those hands can lift and fly, right? Okay, things are about to get wild.

  Having processed an entire battle plan in half a second, I use three Atmos energy hands to grab on to Quins, Odysseus and Ivy. The remaining seven hands charge up Storm Stream attacks.

  Skyscrapper thrusts his sword towards me and I dodge down, spinning to face my team sans Mercy. “You're coming with me,” I declare. Then all four of us take off straight up as Aircutter and Nighthawk point their hands at us and fire a spray of machine gun rounds from robotic fingertips. Mercy cleaves down across Skyscrapper's back and he star screams. My charged Storm Streams fire off, pink lasers cutting across him, then splitting like streams of water, each original beam turning to two which curve around the big robot and aim for his lackeys. They both take a smattering of neon pink laser as I fly up with my teammates.

  Aircutter transforms back into a jet and takes off, flying up after us. I immediately reverse and head back down, because I can turn on a dime and he can't. Nighthawk looks up at us as we fall, and we're about a hundred feet from the ground now.

  It's at this point I should say what I got from my nine levels of Toxicologist. It was mostly different types of poisons, and one acid. When I use one of those a test tube appears in my hand containing the chemical. I then have to manually spread the chemical, either on my weapon or throw it at a goon. This is all much slower than I'd like, and the effects aren't spectacular so I'm mostly ignoring them for now.

  The great thing I got from those levels was 64 free stat points. Those went into Strength and got me to 250.

  Notice! You have reached 250 Strength, and are offered the following choice: Surge or Flow.

  Surge - Gain a +100% burst of Strength, for 1 minute. This can be used once every four hours.

  Flow - Gain a +10% burst of Strength, for 10 minutes. This can be used once every hour.

  I chose Surge, because I'm rarely fighting for 10 minutes, and when I am, plus 10% isn't going to cinch the fight for me. So now I have a super mode. On top of my other super mode. Anyways, I'm going to fuck these guys up now.

  Quins is already firing arrows, though he's shouting at me to at least fly straight, you bugger. Ivy is blasting “Danger Zone,” and I'm feeling the buff to my Agility and Dexterity. Odysseus is... Flailing about. I sweep the Typhoon Punch hands around Nighthawk's legs as he fires finger bullets at us. I pull the others behind me so I can take the hits, which just ping against my armor. I Typhoon Punch into the back of his right leg and the front of his left leg. The blows work as intended and Nighthawk's legs go in opposite directions, sending him to the ground. I land on top of his stomach, which is actually the jet's cockpit. Surge activates and I release my passengers. Ten Atmos fists slam into the robot man from all directions, aimed mostly at his elbow and knee joints. I built Gundam model kits. I know the weak points. His left forearm and legs get punched off at the elbow and knees, respectively. There's a loud screeching of steel. The Atmos energy hands pop from the impact, but I'm okay with that. I'm already charging a Tempest Buster Rifle.

  Quins wheels around and fires acid arrows at Skyscrapper, who's in melee battle with the much smaller Mercy. The arrows hit and sizzle into Skyscrapper's right wing. Small holes appear in the thin metal there and I don't think he's getting off the ground again. I hop up over Nighthawk's head, aim my palms down at his face and blast the shit out of him with Tempest Buster Rifle. The beam is so strong that I fly backwards from the force, and have to keep my attack trained on the robot's head. By the time my attack is finished the robot is missing a cranium. Did he have one before? Too late to check now.

  Skyscrapper, fighting Mercy while being pelted by Quins, is losing his fight. Quins's acid arrows aren't doing a ton of immediate damage, but acid is eating metal and another type of arrow is causing him to rust over. Odysseus is firing at the robot in short bursts, but the bullets are mostly bouncing off. Ivy cranks up her music and I feel pure speed flow into me. I take off, flying straight up to meet Aircutter. I've still got about half a minute left of Surge, and fly towards the jet, who's managed to barrel roll back towards us. It opens fire with machine guns and launches three missiles at me. I summon ten hands and fire Storm Streams. Their limited range doesn't reach the missiles until right before they hit me. My beams cut in all directions, slashing back and forth, and clip two of the missiles, blowing them up. The last missile is about to hit me when I drop my flight effect and sink five feet under its path. I whip around my Storm Streams and cut the missile in half. That turns out to be too close for missiles, because I'm blasted away, and have to regain my balance a second after I appear out of the red flames and black smoke of the detonation. I recover just in time to be body slammed by a goddamn jet.

  The F-14 Tomcat's wing punches into my gut like a colossal clothesline. I'm flung hundreds of feet down and crash into the ground with the snap of bones. My armor flickers, then shatters, turning into glowing dust that floats away. I hear the refrain of Danger Zone, taste blood and dirt, feel the scraping of my broken bones against my muscles as I try to move my legs. Which I can't move.

  Aircutter flies straight down, flipping and transforming halfway to me, and extending his leg to crush me to death with a truly flying kick. But I have too much to live for and too many ways to keep living. I make a Typhoon fist and pull myself by my now bloodied white coat, flinging my mostly limp body out of the way just as Aircutter's foot stomps down. It creates a shockwave of desert dust and a crater the size of a Volkswagen Beetle. Two axes flip out the sides of his arms, snapping into his hands. He turns his head to me but I'm already trying to heal myself with Restoration Palm. I can use two hands at once to speed the process and am doing so.

  In a surprisingly deep voice he says, “human scum, I'll ki-” and then an arrow hits him from behind and massively explodes, obscuring him in a ball of flame and smoke. The smoke clears and he's missing his left wing and arm. He turns to see Quins some 500 feet away, grinning like an idiot. Behind him Mercy does a spinning thrust and launches a purple energy spear through the head of her opponent, Skyscrapper. She just dropped a 6th tier robot.

  My opponent, Aircutter, takes two steps towards Quins then transforms, flying in jet mode just feet off the tan, flat desert ground. Quins fires but Aircutter dodges. I'm healing but now I'm too far away to do anything. The robot flies over my team and blue electricity lights up the ground. I'm in terror for just a second before I realize that the lightning isn't aimed to kill, it's aimed to collect. Each spark connects with a part of Skyscrapper or Nighthawk and the parts get pulled along behind Aircutter. The jet flies up and in seconds it's a mile in the sky. Shadowed by the sun I can see the electrified parts flip around and attach to Aircutter. The newly combined parts rotate into place as the jet turns into a robot. It's now got four extra engines in robot mode, one on each shoulder and two more on its back. The extra wings are layered on top of the old ones making it a six-winged robot. The extra nose cones are now in Aircutter's hands, looking like lances, and they're quickly covered in blue energy.

  I'm up. My legs are still broken but I've fixed my feet enough for flight to work. I fly towards my team, hoping to get to them before Aircutter. I push myself, flying 130 miles per hour, but it's not enough. Aircutter gets there first, his jet engines kick up dust as he cuts his speed at the last second. He hovers just off the ground and thrusts down at Odysseus. The big man tries to block the laser lance with his SCAR-L but the gun is demolished and metal scraps fly in all directions. Odysseus himself seems to have used that moment to push himself back so just the tip of the lance pierces his chest. Blood sprays.

  I'm there. I can't make new armor right after it gets destroyed and my Strength Surge is over. But I'm not done yet.

  6th Step, Astral Pathbreaker, Star Swarm!

  I form stars into my own lance and stab into the side of the offending weapon. I push it away from Odysseus, but Aircutter's left lance comes across and tries to spear me. Mercy's spear punches in from my right, shoving the enemy weapon off target. I spin my stars, turning the lance into a drill, and keep pushing forward. There's a scraping of metal, then the screeching of tearing steel. The right hand nose cone lance explodes into shrapnel. I turn, spin my drill up into the large robot's shoulder, but it takes off upwards, jet engines screaming.

  Aircutter circles us some 1000 feet or more up. That's fine, give me time to charge, dumbass. It swoops down low away from us, and begins another low to the ground charge. He flies straight towards me, but I've still got a card to play. I pull my spellshot revolver from its hip holster, aim and fire.

  His lance, flying ahead of him, gets cut in half as an empowered Lunar energy laser shoots out. Then I fire three more times. A burst of orange fire, a stream of purple void and a Tempest beam. The robot explodes. Shrapnel flies out across the desert. I backhand a part headed towards me. It flies off and lands in the desert.

  “Looks like you had the top gun,” Quins quips.

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