FADE IN:

  INT. COUCH CAFE - DAY

  We see a cafe, one couch in the middle of it, a love seat on either side. Several other couches lining the walls. Sitting on these love seats and couch are two men and two women. Their names are GREG, ROBERT, CHANTELLE, ANNE.

  ALL

  laughing

  A third man walks towards the couch. Carrying a clipboard it's RALPH. Wearing his usual apron.

  RALPH

  What can I get for you guys today?

  All

  Cappuccino

  RALPH

  I Don't know why I bother to ask.

  (Laugh track)

  ROBERT

  Why do you bother?

  (Laugh track)

  RALPH

  I don't know

  (Laugh track)

  GREG

  Could it be cause you've got the hots for Chantelle?

  CHANTELLE

  Oh he does not.

  Ralph puts his head down as if studying his notepad and walks away.

  ANNE

  He's so into you.

  CHANTELLE

  Well he can keep dreaming. I'm saving myself for [upcoming celebrity cameo]

  ROBERT

  As if [upcoming celebrity cameo] would ever come in here. And even if he did. He wouldn't even notice you. Probably dating a whole line of super models.

  GREG

  Do you think all those models would come here with him? I bet I could sneak away with one or two without him noticing.

  (Laugh track)

  JOSH comes in through the cafe door and jump onto the arm of the couch.

  JOSH (YELLING OVER HIS SHOULDER)

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  Grab another cappuccino for me Ralph

  JOSH

  You guys will never believe what I saw.

  GREG

  You're shadow. (DRAMATICALLY) Why won't you let this winter end?

  (Laugh track)

  ANNE

  A UFO come to take you back to whatever planet you came from?

  (Laugh track)

  CHANTELLE

  A mirror? Sorry we didn't warn you.

  (Raising a finger to her brow to mimic Joshes uni-brow.)

  (Laugh track)

  JOSH

  Very funny guys. But this is serious. I was walking by Frank's coffee cart.

  RALPH (O.S)

  Hey

  JOSH

  I wasn't ordering anything. Just walking by.

  ROBERT

  Frank doesn't even have cappuccinos. I asked him once. And he gave me a face like this.

  (Making a face like that.)

  (Laugh track)

  JOSH

  So I was walking by, And it exploded.

  ANNE

  Well good for Frank. He works hard.

  (Laugh track)

  JOSH

  Not in popularity. Like it actually exploded. There one second gone the next. I don't know what happened. It was just poof. Gone in a ball of smoke.

  ROBERT

  I use to go there with Jenny.

  ANNE

  Do you still speak to her at all?

  ROBERT

  Not since that time when we were all suppose to go to my mom's funeral. But I had to run to the office first. So you guys all rode up together. And I got stuck in the elevator. So I was really late, and didn't get there until after they lowered the casket. And you were all about to leave. And Jenny was so mad. She said "I told you a million times. If you're late for one more date were done. I can't keep doing this." And I told her.

  ALL

  It's not a date. It's a funeral!

  (Laugh track)

  RALPH walks towards the couch and love seats carrying six cappuccinos. He beings passing them out.

  ROBERT

  Whose the extra one for?

  GREG

  Could it be, you were hoping to join us?

  CHANTELLE

  Oh he does not want to sit with us.

  RALPH (STAMMERING)

  Oh...I...um... must have miscounted.

  RALPH walks away. Head down as if he's studying his notepad.

  ANNE

  He so wanted to sit with us.

  RALPH walks back to the group carrying a receipt. He hands it to ROBERT as he taps GREG on the shoulder.

  RALPH

  Isn't that Claire over there at the bus stop.

  GREG

  Claire? Anyone got any change?

  ANNE

  Are you ever going to talk to this girl. Or just keep riding the same buses as her?

  GREG

  I'll talk to her. I just need to find an opening first.

  JOSH

  How about. "Hi, I'm not actually going anywhere I just keep getting on the bus whenever I see you getting on. Maybe next time we can split a cab instead?"

  (Laugh track)

  CHANTELLE

  Well you gotta say something before she ends up getting a car.

  ROBERT

  Or worse. A bike.

  (Laugh track)

  Everybody reaches into their pockets and empties the contents into GREG'S cupped hands.

  GREG

  Thanks guy.

  GREG jumps off the couch and runs out the front door of the cafe. Only one step out the doorway. still holding the door open. A piano falls from above. Crushing GREG. All that can be seen is a shattered piano and a growing pool of blood seeping out from underneath it.

  CHANTELLE

  Damn. Another funeral and I'm still single.

  (Laugh track)

  CHANTELLE

  Ralph, would you like to come to Greg's funeral as my guest.

  RALPH (EXCITED)

  It's a date.

  ROBERT, JOSH, CHANTELLE, ANNE

  It's not a date. It's a funeral!

  (Laugh track)

  FADE OUT: