"Seed of the demon burn holes in the soil where you stand. Welcome it, for it is for You it is done."

  The Book of Rain

  After the funeral, at the reception, Astrid locked herself in her room. Maria and Lars, the neighbors, took care of Iris while Walter sat in his study with Aunt Isabelle. Astrid couldn't stomach meeting any of them, she couldn't handle one more compassionate look on a concerned face, not one more embrace meant to comfort. She didn't want to be comforted. She wanted to forget. She cranked the volume on her stereo and threw herself on the bed. She was such a cliché. Her mother was gone and here she was, sulking like the teenager she'd never been. The teenager she would never be, because she was a teenager whose mother just died in a freak pne crash that no one could expin. She was a teenager with a daughter who lit up like a Christmas tree, a teenager who became pregnant with a man who disappeared from the face of the earth after conceiving but now had mysteriously reappeared to threaten her entire future. A teenager with a father who could no longer look her in the eyes because everything about her reminded him of the wife he had lost. She felt anger bubbling up inside her. It was so damn unfair, all of it. She didn't deserve this.

  Before she knew it Astrid found herself standing outside the apartment. She snuck out, and she knew no one had noticed. They wouldn't miss her for at least an hour. Pulling her jacket tighter around the bck dress, the one she knew she would never wear again after this day, she started walking down the street. She needed to clear her head. She took deep breaths as she quickened the pace, and finally felt the tears come. She didn't bother wiping them from her face as she put a cigarette between her lips and lit it. Her father most definitely knew she smoked now and then, but this would not be the day he faced her with it.

  She realized someone was following her about the time she reached Humleg?rden. It was more a feeling than anything else, because even if she saw nothing out of the ordinary when she looked around, she just knew. She was not alone. And the person was there for her, nothing else. Grief was immediately repced by discomfort, and then discomfort was repced with fear. She could feel her heartbeat in her temples, her palms breaking out in cold sweats, and cold chills running up and down her spine. After that first look, she didn't dare turn around again. Instead, she increased the pace. That was when she first heard footsteps. They were picking up speed just like her, matching her pace. Fuck. She was starting to panic, so without really thinking she turned abruptly to the right, up towards the pyground at the top of the park. The person behind her did the same. She gnced around for other pedestrians in the park, but the autumn evening was cold and dreary and attracted few to go for a walk in the park. As far as she could tell she was alone. She tried to gather her thoughts, make a decision, act, but fear had taken hold, and she couldn't think straight. She reached into her pocket, closing her fingers around the keys there, letting a couple of keys stick out between her them. It was the best weapon she could think of. She had to look. She had to. With what felt like her heart in her throat, she turned on her heels. And stared straight into the empty darkness. There was no one behind her. Or, she couldn't see anyone behind her. But she did hear footsteps in the rubble, a few steps and then they stopped. Like she had. Waiting. If she'd been scared before, then it was nothing compared to what she felt now. She heard footsteps; she knew that for sure. And now she didn't, and it was even worse because now she couldn't even make out where her stalker might be. She turned her back to the dark again, because she had no choice. She needed to get out of there now. She was alone here, and no one would come to help her.

  No. Not alone. She looked up towards the streetlights at the end of the park avenue. Tall oaks on each side, casting long shadows – making her way up to the safety of the street so dark it felt like a bck wall. She had no choice. She set off into a sprint, pulling her elbows closer to her sides and leaning forward so her weight were on the front of her feet. She was almost halfway up the hill when she heard it again: footsteps. Running, like her. They were close. She didn't dare to turn around, she just focused on the street at the end of the hill, focused on making her steps light and strong, focused on breathing. Her heart racing in her chest and the taste of bile in her mouth. She could feel her untied shoeces whip against her ankles. Pink and white LA Gear sneakers. Her mother had bought them for her just a few days before she died and the thought of her mother gave Astrid an extra push, moving her quickly forward, towards safety. So close now, just a few more steps. Don't think, just run. Run. Run.

  She stopped the moment her feet reached the halo from the streetlight on the wet asphalt. She was crying, probably had been for a while. All she could think of was how much she needed Iris, needed to hold her daughter in her arms, needed to get home to her. The streets weren't exactly bristling with people, but she wasn't alone anymore. She gnced back into the dark park behind her. Nothing. Empty. But she knew better. Astrid started walking down Karv?gen avenue. It wasn't the shortest way home, but it was the one with the most people. She did not want to risk ending up alone again in some dark alley. She dried her tears using the cuffs of her jacket, trying her best to look normal and casual. She felt embarrassed for some reason. Had she just imagined it all? She was grieving. She was upset and hadn't slept properly since that phone call from the police. This could just have been one of those moments when you go crazy because you're so sad. So stupid. She felt so silly. Not wanting to meet the eyes of anyone crossing her in the avenue, she kept her eyes on the ground.

  Maybe that's why she saw it. Shadows. And not shadows.

  "Astrid."

  How that voice could feel so familiar when she'd only heard it one night in her life, was beyond her. She stopped but didn't look up. He stepped out in front of her, she could see bck leather boots and bck jeans over slim, long legs, and she knew without a doubt it was him. It wasn't just because she recognized the voice. She knew, because the man standing in front of her didn't have a shadow. She could see her own, pinned to her feet, stretching diagonally to the right. The feet in front of her should have matching shadows running parallel with hers, but they didn't.

  "Max." It didn't matter that she knew, as she looked up and saw his face her heart skipped a beat, nonetheless. His brown hair was longer and lighter, like he'd been on a long holiday and neglected to get a proper haircut. He's features more of a man than a boy now. How old could he be now? Twenty one? He looked older than that though. Slender, but not skinny. He seemed longer than she remembered him. The style in clothes was the same though. Bck leather jacket, bck hoodie, bck jeans and boots. He looked like he could be anyone. No one. But he wasn't, he most definitely was someone. Astrid knew that.

  "What are you doing out here all alone, Astrid?" She was a bit thrown off by how he sounded more concerned than threatening. Not at all like he was here to fight her for custody.

  "I can go wherever I want." Max smiled, a patient, friendly smile. Like she was being defiant, like a child. It made her blood boil.

  "Of course you can. But maybe you shouldn't. It's not safe. You need to be careful. Think of Iris. She needs you."

  Astrid exploded.

  "What the hell do you know about Iris? Nothing! You're not her dad! You're a fucking sperm donor!" Max raised his palms towards he, as if to say that he was backing off. But Astrid wasn't finished. "What did you do to her? How the hell did you get to her? She's been talking about you, I know you've met her. Did you think I wouldn't find out? You had no right!" She got in his face, so angry she didn't even care if he was there to hurt her. She could hurt him right back, the bastard.

  "I've never met her. Not really. We meet when she's asleep. Sort of." He had the sense to look a bit ashamed, but also like he was more than prepared to stand up to her.

  "When she's asleep?! What the hell does that mean? Did you break into her bedroom or something!? You couldn't have, I would have heard it, you can't..." Astrid stopped mid-sentence. She stared at the man in front of her. "You mean you see her when she dreams, don't you?" His eyes were sad, but he nodded.

  "Astrid, I'm not here to take her from you. I promise. I'm here because time's running out, and there's so much she needs to understand, so much you both need to know. In case... I might not always be able to protect her. I had to come forward. I had to help."

  "What are you talking about? I'm not letting you near her! Why aren't we safe? You're not making any sense, Max!" He sighed. He had this warmth radiating off him, she could feel it on her cold cheeks. That's how close they were standing. She wanted to hit him. And kiss him. And scream at him. And beg him to expin. The ambivalence was infuriating.

  "I told you you're special, Astrid. That... night. You are. But Iris, she's... she's chosen. Her destiny is-"

  "Damn it, Max! I don't want to hear it! Tell me the truth or I swear I'll fucking sp you!"

  "Astrid, please. Just listen." He grabbed her arm and as she stared into his eyes, she started feeling dizzy. Those damn eyes. That must be how he does it. He hypnotizes people with his eyes. It's how he gets control over them. Astrid stared back, refusing to evert her eyes even though she was convinced she'd discovered his secret weapon. She didn't pull away though.

  "Iris is important. Our world depends on her. Or it will end because of her, it's complicated but I can expin. Just, you got to listen to me. Keep your mind open for it. Do you understand what I'm saying? You've seen it yourself; I know you have. The light within her. And you've seen her do things no child, not even a grown man, should be able to do, just with shear force. And you've felt it. That draining feeling, like she extracts a bit of life from you, by just looking at you. Not because she means to, because... she has to. I know you understood long ago Iris isn't like other kids. So, is it really that hard to believe what I'm saying now?" Astrid didn't answer but as he spoke salty tears ran down her pale cheeks. Max halted, affection in his eyes.

  "Oh, Astrid..." He gently pulled her into his arms. Held her the way only he ever could, because he was just as much a part of this as she was. He was the only one who truly understood. Something cracked deep inside of her, and she allowed herself to be comforted for the first time since hearing of her mothers' death. She cried. Cried for her mother. For her daughter. For herself.

  They stood there for a long while, just holding each other. It was so unreal to Astrid. Max, the boy who didn't exist. Standing in front of her, as real as her. Aged like a normal boy would've, but the absent of shadow telling her he was all but normal. This man holding her, she didn't know him. Then she'd never known the boy he once was either.

  "Who are you?" she whispered into his chest as it rose and fell in a deep sigh.

  "I really am no one. I'm just pying my part, like you are. Like Iris will be. The only difference is that I've known about it all my life. I've been trained for it. Trained to find you. To conceive Iris with you. And now the only thing I want is to protect you. And I want to teach Iris the things I know. Give her a chance, so that when it happens, she'll be prepared. She'll have a fighting chance. So she'll know what to do." Max spoke gently into her bright red hair, damp with sweat and autumn rain. He held her tight, unwilling to let her go until she freed herself from his embrace. She could sense his reluctance when he released her.

  "This makes no sense at all, Max. You can't look for someone, find someone, without knowing beforehand who you're looking for. You didn't know me before that night. You didn't even know I existed." Max smiled again.

  "It's true I didn't know you personally, but I knew you existed. Or, at least one like you. The one girl who had the Light of Life and Death within her."

  "The what? Wow. You certainly know how to make a girl feel special." Max ughed, deep in his throat.

  "You're special, Astrid. How many times do you need me to repeat it? I'll do it, if that's what it takes for you to believe me. Without you, none of this would have been possible."

  "Ok. So I'm not really that fucking special, it's rather what I can do that's special. And what I can do is give birth to luminescent babies. Again: wow." She gred at him. Max sighed in frustration and ran his hand through his hair.

  "Astrid, please. I'm trying to expin." He draw a sharp breath, seemingly deciding on something, and then put his hand on her cheek, leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. Moving so fast she had no time to react. Astrid answered the kiss on impulse. And when she did the world exploded behind her eyes.

  She's seeing a valley beneath green cliffs. A river. She knows it's the Blue Nile. A man whose skin is bck as night is drawing signs using blood on rocks in front of him. A circle with two horizontal lines underneath. It's the sign of the children, she doesn't know how she knows this, but she does. The children who will destroy us or save us. The man lifts a knife made of flint stone. He lifts it high in the air and Astrid wants to scream but she can't as she watches him stab himself, in the throat, in the chest, in the stomach. He doesn't stop, not even when the blood comes gushing. Blood everywhere. He goes on and on, until he can't. Until his body won't let him. He leans heavy against the rock – and then he suddenly turns around and looks at her. An eye is missing from its socket because he stabbed himself there. A rge open wound gapes in the cheek underneath it and blood pulses out from a wound in his throat. How isn't he dead? He shouldn't be able to breathe with that wound in his throat, his heart shouldn't be beating after being stabbed that way. But he doesn't die. He looks at her, one-eyed. Without his lips moving, she hears him:

  "Mador len."

  Astrid turned abruptly and managed to take two steps before emptying her stomach on the ground. Max didn't touch her, letting her collect herself a bit.

  "It's pretty shocking the first time, I know. Sorry, but I had to. You didn't listen."

  "What the hell was that?? What did I just see?" Astrid gasped as the nausea slowly subsided.

  "I don't know what you saw. You were shown what rasherdel wanted you to see. I just channeled the energy.

  "Rasherdel? I can't fucking do this, Max. Do you not get that my mother died?"

  While she spoke, a shadow passed in her periphery, throwing her off a bit. She felt it more than saw it, to her left, but she reacted strongly to it nonetheless. Max seemed to do more than that.

  "Astrid, we have to go. Now." He grabbed her arm and started to pull her with him.

  "Max, wait, where are you going? Stop, I can't go with you!" She tried to make him release her arm, but Max was stronger. She had no choice but to start moving with him to avoid falling and being dragged after him on the ground. The shadow passed by her again, closer now. Astrid felt a sharp pain in her shoulder and startled she tried to get a look, tried to see what it was that caused her such pain, all while clumsily running after Max.

  Her green windbreaker jacket had a rge tear. Even the dress underneath was cut open. Astrid could see blood seeping out from a wound stretching from her shoulder to her colrbone.

  "Max, what the hell is going on? Something cut me!" Max stopped so suddenly she rammed right into him. He grabbed her, urgently and quite ungentle he twisted and turned her. After examining the damage done to her shoulder he grabbed her hand again, pulling her with him.

  "We'll fix that when we get out of here," he shouted over his shoulder. "You'll be fine for a bit longer."

  Astrid didn't resist anymore. She ran behind Max, as fast as she could. Behind her, she felt something chasing them. Gaining on them. She gnced over her shoulder. And screamed.

  Behind them was an undefinable mass of darkness. It grew like a storm, stretching out all around them. Out of the darkness Astrid saw something. Some... being, A bck organism, a form unlike anything she'd ever seen before. Its oily, grey skin seemed to be see-through, showing off veins pumping bck liquid. No eyes. But a huge mouth, full of rows of sharp teeth, slippery with mucus. The sight made her think of the leech's sucker-like mouth and of sea monsters in bad horror movies.

  Max reacted to her screams by resolutely pushing her in front of him, thus ending up between her and what was chasing them. He pushed her forward, gave her extra speed. Steered her towards the subway station on the left side of the avenue.

  "Down here," he shouted in her ear and Astrid ran as fast as she could down the stairs, through the gss doors and without thinking she threw herself over the barriers. She could hear the station attendant shout at her from his booth but she really didn't care. She continued down the escators that led down to the ptforms and did not stop until she was down. At first, she feared the monster had gotten hold of Max because she couldn't see him behind her. But then he appeared, jogging down the escator.

  "They can't follow us underground. We're safe, Astrid."

  Astrid said nothing. She felt completely empty. Her brain had shut down. Max grabbed her jacket and tore it apart. He pushed her torn dress down, exposing her bleeding shoulder. She didn't even protest. He looked at the wound on her shoulder and then threw off his jacket. He reached into the pocket of his jeans and took out a knife. It wasn't until he cut his arm with it that Astrid reacted.

  "What are you doing?!" She tried to reach for the knife, but he was too fast for her. She looked around them but for some strange reason none of the other commuters seemed to notice what Max was doing, or the blood now dripping on the marble floor. Maybe they just didn't care. From his other pocket Max took out a wooden stick that he dragged through the blood staining his arm. It looked like he'd done this many times before.

  "Stand still now, Astrid." She complied. Whatever he was doing he seemed to know more about what was going on than her. She had no other choice but to trust him. She watched as he started drawing strange symbols on her skin, using his blood and the wooden stick she suddenly realized resembled the silhouette of a woman. Full breasts, wide stomach and big hips. Astrid recognized it. She'd seen such a figure before and knew who it represented: Mother Earth, or the Venus figure. She remembered talking about it in css. The mystery of it had appealed to her, so she remembered it well. Apparently, people had been digging up these figurines all over the world: Europe, South America, in Asia and in Africa. It puzzled the scientists because these civilizations had no way of interacting with each other at the time – they were too far apart – so there was no logic expnation to why they seemed to be worshiping this mother figure in a manner that closely resembled one another. She particurly remembered reading about this entire civilization governed by moon worship, and worship of the feminine. Once, the world seemed to have been ruled by women. But that was many thousands of years ago.

  Max trailed her gaze.

  "Gaia, Maimata, Hathor. She's had many names throughout mankind's time on earth. We call her the Mother Goddess. It was her first name, and it's what she is: the mother of all." He made one st scribble on her shoulder and then stepped back to inspect his work. "I'm not an expert on this particur part, but I have some experience. It doesn't always work, but with you, because it's you... I think it will."

  "What if it doesn't work?"

  "Then you die." Max said it matter-of-factly, as if commenting on the weather. Astrid started crying. He immediately regretted his words.

  Shit, Astrid, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it that way. It's going to work. It's you, and it's me. Remember? We're special. We're blessed. She's going to save us." He gently squeezed her arm. She wanted to believe him, so she took a deep breath and swallowed hard.

  "So now what?" Astrid looked at the smeared blood, his mixed with hers.

  "We need to get you home. You snuck out, it's a matter of time before they notice and they're going to worry."

  "How do you know that? That I snuck out, I mean."

  Max smiled at her once more, a smile she was starting to get annoyed with. It was like he knew things and pitied her because she didn't. She knew that was unfair, but she was so tired of not understanding.

  "According to the scriptures, I'm not supposed to even be here, Astrid. But, for some reason the Mother Goddess seems to still have use for me, because I am. I figured it's because she wants me to keep you safe so I've been watching over you. Ever since the night of Iris' conception."

  "Ok. Right... totally unpleasant thought." Astrid gred at him. She felt the exact opposite of what she said, it felt extremely reassuring to know that during all this time, although she never knew, she hadn't been alone. She'd been a single parent, but not. He'd been there. At the same time, she felt angry with him. If he'd been there this whole time, why hadn't he let her know?

  "You didn't feel like you had a reason to, like, help? You know, with the whole parenting thing. Not to sit at a safe distance and sneak a peek." Max shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. He refused to look he in the eyes.

  "Some rashers strongly believe I shouldn't have any contact whatsoever with you. Some think I should be dead, that since I'm not that means the mother goddess wants me to end my own life. That I should've, a long time ago. For the sake of bance. It's clear in the scriptures, the fathers forfeit their purpose after conception, they die, just as the Mother forfeited the Father after conception of the world." He finally looked at her. "I am not here because I'm asked to. I'm not here because it's my destiny. I'm here even if they'd kill me if they caught me. Even if I'm not supposed to be here."