This wasn’t the first time Rayne had been nervous while waiting for Hannah, but it was maybe the most nervous she had felt. It must also be noted that Rayne wasn’t even fully sure if Hannah would even show up. It could very well be Eda who arrived with Rayne’s nightly tea. She wouldn’t fault Hannah if she didn’t want to come. Having a night to oneself after a day like today made sense and if Rayne was in Hannah’s pce she would have done just that. Rayne sighed as the anticipation felt overwhelming.

  A knock at the door somehow both ended and expanded the anticipation Rayne felt. It was a truly uncomfortable feeling. “Come in.” The few seconds it took from her reply to the door opening was agonizing but there was relief when she saw that it was indeed Hannah. “Hannah,” Rayne said far more to herself than as a greeting to the fox.

  Hannah’s mind was a mix of memories from both this morning and when Eda came to give her lunch. The overwhelmed feeling that had sted all day wasn’t going away, but there was a resolve to push through it. “Mistress,” the vixen said with a small curtsy. Like two nights ago she batted the door closed with her tail before stepping deeper into the room.

  It only took a second before Rayne realized that Hannah was using her injured hands to carry the tray. She couldn’t have that. Quickly Rayne stood up and rushed over to the fox.

  Seeing Rayne suddenly rush Hannah made the fox freeze. A deeply built in fear spiked in her as her entire body tensed, ready for what always followed a human rushing her. Hannah winced as the tray was quickly taken away from her shaking hands.

  “You shouldn’t be carrying something so heavy with your hands,” Rayne said with only concern in her voice. Making sure that she didn’t spill the tray when taking it from Hannah had taken the main focus, but now Rayne finally looked at her fox. Those yellow eyes were as wide as she had ever seen and completely filled with fear. Confusion wracked Rayne as she tried to comprehend what could have ever made Hannah so afraid. Panic quickly started to take over as the only conclusion Rayne could come to was that she was the cause. “Hannah.” Her own voice now sounded scared.

  Hearing Rayne so gently say her name brought Hannah out of the paralyzing world of fear inside her. That didn’t mean the fear wasn’t still lingering because her body was still tense as she looked away. Tears were rapidly building in Hannah’s eyes as she quietly responded, “I’m sorry.” Nervously Hannah’s arms tucked into her chest as her ears fttened, some part of her still ready for the treatment that usually followed what had happened.

  “No!” Rayne said forcefully enough that she saw Hannah flinch again. The dy’s chest tightened so hard it felt like she couldn’t breath. “I’m sorry.” Now her own voice came out as barely a whisper.

  Hannah did her best to not shake with the lingering feelings of fear. Wiping at the tears Hannah quietly admitted, “A human rushing up to me usually means bad things.”

  With only a slightly shaky voice Rayne said, “Making you afraid was the st thing I wanted to do. I’m so sorry, Hannah.” Rayne very rarely felt anger towards herself to the extent that she was at the moment. Thankfully her logic was helping quell that feeling by acknowledging that she couldn’t have known this was how Hannah would react.

  “It’s alright, Mistress. I know you didn’t mean to scare me.” Hannah was actually a little upset with herself that she had let herself feel any fear towards someone who only wanted to show her kindness. Even so, she couldn’t deny that the reaction had been warranted every single other time it had happened in the past seven years. It was going to be a hard habit to break because of that, but there was determination to do so. At least with Rayne. Eda as well for that matter.

  The relief Rayne felt was massive, but it wasn’t fully enough to make her feel better. Not knowing what else to do she took a step back from Hannah, afraid even just being close would keep her scared. That was a truly terrible feeling. “Why don’t we sit down?” Normally Rayne might have led the way, but in this instance she waited for Hannah to start moving first.

  Nodding, Hannah nervously took a step forward, unsure of why she felt hesitant to take another. She did it though and just put one foot in front of the other as she made her way over to their usual seats. Routine was helpful and having already built a fairly reliable routine of sitting with Rayne meant that sitting down as they normally would was going to make Hannah feel calmer. Even if sitting down next to Rayne was still the tiniest bit scary given their status difference.

  Rayne followed Hannah, but made sure to stay to the side rather than fully behind Hannah. She didn’t know if someone behind her would also make the fox feel nervous. Thankfully again tonight, Hannah didn’t need any coxing to sit down on the loveseat. Not only that but sitting down in her usual seat appeared to calm Hannah down a bit. Still a little afraid to move too fast, Rayne gently set the tray down before pouring them both a cup of tea before taking a seat herself and handing a cup to Hannah.

  The cup felt hot in Hannah’s hands. Clearly too hot to drink right now so Hannah just stared down at the tea, not quite sure what to do. Saying something was probably the right thing to do, but like earlier today her throat felt tight. There was so much she wanted to say to her mistress but she knew she wasn’t going to be the one to start the talking.

  There was a long moment of silence as the pair sat, both clearly waiting for the other to say something. Eventually Rayne gently asked, “Are you feeling any better from this morning?”

  The words were den with concern and so soft and quiet. There was a strange feeling inside of Hannah’s chest that she wasn’t sure she could pce. “Yes and no,” Hannah admitted just as she had done for Eda earlier. Though Hannah wanted for Rayne to feel better, she didn’t feel like lying about her own well being was the right answer. Maybe some more expnation might help. “Being able to journal my thoughts really helped, but the feelings haven’t gone away, I’m just in more control.”

  Rayne nodded along, not feeling like she could fully rete but she could understand. Journaling wasn’t something the dy did, both because it wasn’t something that really spoke to her and that if she was fully open and honest about herself in a journal someone might be able to find it. Controlling her emotions was something that Rayne was good at. At least when not involving Hannah in some regard. “I’m gd the journals have helped you.” For the first time tonight Rayne actively took her eyes off of Hannah and looked down at her own tea. What else should one say after that? Still, Rayne opened her mouth hoping that words would just flow out, but nothing did.

  Hannah didn’t want to keep talking about this subject but she could understand why someone else who was involved wanted to talk about it more. That being said, Rayne hadn’t said anything else and the uncomfortable quiet between them was only growing by the second. Memories of this afternoon and her talk with Eda fshed through her mind. The vixen was sure that with other people Rayne would easily be able to hold a conversation, even after a difficult subject was brought up. The dy not being able to right now was maybe a sign of that softer side of Rayne. The side that Eda asked her to take care of. How could she do that right now? “If…” Hannah's mouth was starting to move without her brain thinking the words through. “If you have any questions you can ask them, Mistress.”

  Anxiety grew in Rayne’s chest and she didn’t like the feeling. “I do not wish to linger on the subject of this morning if it continues to upset you, Hannah.” Those words both felt like truth and a lie at the same time.

  “The questions do not have to be about this morning.”

  Rayne looked at Hannah only slightly confused. What other questions were there to ask? At least what questions of substance? Pleasant small talk was something Rayne could do, but Rayne had already addressed that she wanted to have deeper conversations with Hannah the other night.

  “I know the way I love is different than what humans accept and I can understand there could be questions about that.” Somehow to Hannah this felt like a lighter subject than this morning. Maybe because the subject was love and Hannah already knew that Rayne accepted her in that regard. It had been a long time since she had a genuinely deep conversation about such feelings. Yes, they had talked a brief amount about Eine this morning but it felt a little different.

  “Oh,” Rayne said with her eyes going a little wide. That was a big change of topic that took Rayne by surprise. “I don’t—” Rayne cut herself off at the intense tightness that suddenly grew in her chest. She was so quick to try and brush off the topic but she felt her heart call out to it. “I…”Nervously, her gaze left the fox and went back to her tea. Fear grew inside Rayne at just the idea of talking about this subject. There was part of her that knew this was a safe pce to talk about it, just like Eda said. It felt hard to breathe. Why did it feel like all her strength had suddenly left her? “I… I h-have a lot of questions,” she said clearly having to force it out, but it felt good to do so.

  Hannah waited patiently for Rayne to propose the first question, but it wasn’t coming. There was just another awkward silence. Hannah started to regret that this was where her words had led the conversation. Though Rayne had admitted she did have questions, maybe this wasn’t the direction the dy needed. Just when Hannah was about to open her mouth to say something the dy finally spoke.

  “So, you are attracted to women?” Rayne wasn’t sure it had ever felt this hard to speak in her life. Every word took so much effort to push past the terrifying worry of talking about such things out loud. She so desperately wanted it though. Her heart yearned to be able to talk about such things freely with more than just Eda. Was this how Hannah had felt the night she told Rayne about Eine?

  Part of the fox wanted to only nod her answer, but she could just feel that Rayne’s eyes weren’t on her right now. For the first time since sitting down she looked up at her mistress. Rayne’s eyes were cast down at the cup in her p but it was easy to tell they weren’t truly focused on it. Though that aspect might have been easy to read, the rest of the dy’s face was difficult. Reading people was never Hannah's strong suit and humans not having ears like a kins and tails made it so much harder. “Yes,” Hannah said pinly.

  “O-only women?” It felt wrong for Rayne to hope that Hannah was only attracted to women, but she did. Whether it was because it would mean less of a chance of another love interest for Hannah, or because Rayne didn’t want to feel alone in only being attracted to women, Rayne wasn’t sure.

  Hannah nodded while saying, “Only women.” Who could have imagined after years of hiding all this away that Hannah would be able to be honest and open again?

  “Is that a common occurrence for beastkin?” For as educated as Rayne was, it was true that she knew very little about beastkin. Maybe this was something that happened a lot for kin, and maybe it was something that most sve owners knew about. There was also the chance it was a massive secret kept by kin. Rayne didn’t like feeling out of her depth, but she did feel that way right now.

  The teacher side of Hannah was starting to come to life and it made having this conversation feel so much easier. “It’s normal. I wouldn’t say it’s the most common. Most kin are attracted to the opposite gender, but there are a good amount of us that aren’t. There were quite a number of same gender couples in my vilge.” Hannah remembered something she had said the other day. “The kin and human couple I talked about the other day, they were both men.”

  Rayne’s eyes darted from her tea to Hannah. She was of course shocked, but there was an exhirating amount of relief that suddenly filled the dy. Even a same gender retionship between a beastkin and human was normal for Hannah’s people? “R-really?” The nod Hannah gave her felt like it opened a world of possibilities to Rayne. This new knowledge made Rayne feel so happy, but also extremely overwhelmed at the same time. The dy’s eyes started to drift away from Hannah as Rayne came to terms with her perception of the world having been so small compared to what it actually was. Love was clearly so much grander than what she had been led to believe her whole life.

  Hannah wished so deeply that she could read the expression on Rayne’s face, but it was so bnk as the dy stared off. At least it was until she started to read Rayne as being upset. She wasn’t sure what exactly led Hannah to that belief but the slow misting of Rayne’s eyes wasn’t helping. A panic built in Hannah’s chest. “I-I’m sorry if this is upsetting to talk about.”

  “No.” The words came out so forcefully from Rayne’s mouth that it shocked both her and Hannah. Rayne’s eyes locked back onto Hannah’s and only now did the dy notice how obscured her vision was by unshed tears. “It’s not up—” For the second time tonight, Rayne cut herself off. Rayne looked away from Hannah, suddenly feeling ashamed that she was about to cover up her true feelings again. She didn’t want to hide from Hannah… “Y-your right,” she said quietly. “It is upsetting, b-but not…” The dy’s throat felt tight. Was she really about to say this? “But not…” Rayne took a deep breath to steady her pounding heart.

  Nervously watching the dy, Hannah waited for Rayne to find her words. Hannah wasn’t sure where this was going and if she was being honest, she was a little scared of where it might go. Still, some part of her told her to let Rayne get through what she had to say without Hannah panicking and interrupting. Even as tears started to fall from Rayne’s eyes.

  “It is s-strangely upsetting to h-hear about a pce so o-open to some…” When was the st time Rayne’s voice had ever been this shaky? Every instinct in the dy was fighting against saying this, but her heart and mind so desperately needed to. “Something t-that I… That I have d—” Rayne had to hold in a sob fueled by fear. She hated that she felt so afraid right now. Why couldn’t she just easily trust Eda’s words that it would be fine to tell Hannah? “I h-have d-denied and hidden about m-myself.” The cup in her hands was shaking so hard that tea was starting to spill, but she had done it. She spoke her truth to someone other than Eda. To Hannah, the person she so clearly loved. The relief of saying it was almost enough to make her sob.

  The world felt like it suddenly became very still to Hannah. In that stillness everything slowly started to fade away. Every pop and crackle of the fire, every tiny plop of Rayne’s tears falling into the tea, and every worry that had been filling Hannah’s mental world. Quickly it all just became Rayne and her, as if they were the only two things in existence. There weren’t coherent thoughts that made their way through Hannah’s mind in this state, but even so she so clearly knew that she wanted Rayne to feel safe. For her mistress to not feel the fear she was so desperately trying to hide. There was no forethought in the actions Hannah quickly took, just feelings.

  Rayne heard the ctter of a teacup falling to the ground just an instant before she felt Hannah arms wrap around her tightly. It wasn’t clear what Rayne had been expecting Hannah’s reaction to be. In all honesty, Rayne had been more scared and focused on just saying it, rather than thinking about how the fox would respond. There was a brief moment of pause as Rayne’s brain processed this new development, and when it was done the only reaction Rayne had was to let out the sobs she had been so tediously holding in.

  Hannah hated the sound of Rayne sobbing and she so desperately wanted to help. She wanted to take away the pain and fear Rayne had been holding inside of her. She wanted to make it go away for the dy. To take care of Rayne like Eda asked and all that Hannah could think to do was to hug her. Physical comfort was something that helped Hannah through tough times, such as Rayne holding her this morning, and Hannah wanted to be able to give that back to her mistress. She kept her arms wrapped tight around her and let Rayne get it all out. Even her tail came up to y as much as it could in Rayne’s p, without getting dunked in the tea.

  Once the tears came, it was hard for Rayne to make them stop. It was as if every scary and stressful moment of her life that she had bottled up had all decided to show themselves now. Her mind felt like it was working overtime but at the same time it was completely bnk. That was such a horrible feeling, but one that didn’t st. Of course it took time for it to go away and for Rayne to stop sobbing, but it did stop. The tears, on the other hand, were still gently trickling down her face and Rayne had a feeling that it wasn’t going to stop for a while. Very quietly Rayne whispered out, “Thank you, Hannah.”

  Was that the signal for Hannah to let go? Hannah didn’t want to let go. “You don’t need to thank me, Mistress.”

  A soft smile crossed Rayne’s face. “I do though.” She didn’t pull away from Hannah’s arms and was gd Hannah didn’t pull away either. “If you hadn’t been honest and open with me, I don’t think I would have been able to do so myself.”

  It was strange that for how different Hannah and Rayne’s worlds were they both held a fear of being honest about their attractions. Sometimes it was the hard things that united people the most. Hannah felt a warmth grow in her chest at knowing she had helped Rayne in some regard. “I’m gd I was able to help you feel safe in expressing yourself.”

  The smile on Rayne’s face only grew. “I am, too. I… I have never told anyone that before.” The dy gave out a nervous chuckle. “I didn’t even technically tell Eda, she figured it out before I did. I had denied those feelings before, telling myself I was just jealous of other women’s bodies. Then Eda somewhat confronted me about it with some evidence that I couldn’t deny.”

  There was a strange warm and bubbly feeling inside of Hannah at Rayne’s words. Hannah had been the first person Rayne actively told and she felt really honored by that. She felt even more honored that Rayne continued to talk about it with her. Hannah also couldn’t help but be curious at what evidence Eda provided to give Rayne that realization, but the fox had a feeling this wasn’t the time to ask that. It then dawned on Hannah that all this was probably why Eda asked Hannah to look after Rayne.

  “I have never knowingly talked to another person that feels the same way as I do, and I still do have a lot of questions,” Rayne admitted quietly

  Was this finally the right time for Hannah to let go of Rayne? It felt like it, but Hannah really didn’t want to. Then Hannah suddenly remembered something. “The tea,” Hannah said, pulling away and looking at what happened to it. Of course it was spilled all over the carpet and clearly already stained it to some degree. In a rush, Hannah went to get off the seat and clean it up, but felt a hand gently grab her arm.

  “Don’t worry about the tea,” Rayne said, a little upset that Hannah had let go. “I couldn’t care less about that right now.”

  Hannah resisted the urge to still get up and start cleaning up the mess she had made. The topic at hand did feel a little more important though. When she sat back more comfortably she felt Rayne’s hand leave her arm and Hannah was a little disappointed. She wasn’t sure why, but she was. “You can keep asking questions, Mistress.”

  Rayne felt that tightness of fear in her chest come back a little bit and found herself looking back down at her p. Her eyes gnced between the teacup she was holding and the tail that was gently perched on the edge of her p. If Rayne was being honest with herself, drinking tea didn’t sound very appealing while being this nervous. With care she gently leaned forward and pced the teacup back on the tray before sitting back up and looking back at the tail still in her p. Would Hannah be alright with Rayne touching her tail? She had done it the other day.

  The look on Rayne’s face was easy to recognize for Hannah. It was the same look she had in the carriage after their shopping trip. Maybe it would make Rayne more comfortable. The bushy tail moved deeper into the dy’s p and Hannah so dearly loved the child like joy that fshed across Rayne’s face. It wasn’t long before Rayne’s hands were on her tail, gently stroking it.

  “Was it hard for you to realize you had these feelings?” Hannah’s tail felt so soft against Rayne’s hands.

  “No,” Hannah answered honestly. “I always knew I was interested in other women, not men.”

  “That must have been nice,” Rayne said, feeling just the tiniest bit jealous. “I suppose in a society where it’s normal there isn’t need for one to question themselves about it.”

  “When there’s no expectation to be a certain way it does make realizations about oneself easier. Though we all have moments of questioning ourselves. I most certainly have, just not on this aspect of myself.”

  “No expectations.” Rayne chuckled. “What a world to live in. It feels like in high society every aspect of our lives has expectations. How to dress, how to act, when to marry, even who to marry. Not that I have fit into any of those expectations,” Rayne said with a slight ugh. Lady Hayward was quite well known for not falling into the expected ideals of what a woman was meant to be. “This might sound strange but how do same gender couples have a family?”

  “For male couples, adoption is very normal. I was actually adopted, but my father wasn’t attracted to men. Or women for that matter.”

  “You only had one parent?” Rayne had a bit of a hard time imagining only having one parent. At first she felt like that might be a pity, but then she recognized how strong and loving one must be to adopt a child with no one else to help them.

  Hannah nodded. “It was just my father and me.” Hannah still wanted to get back to the topic at hand. “For female couples adoption is also an option, but we can still get pregnant and have children that way.”

  “So you would still have to… y with a man.” That sounded uncomfortable to Rayne. Having a partner you loved but having to sleep with someone else to get pregnant.

  “You can, but there are ways for a woman to get another woman pregnant.”

  “What?” Rayne looked back up at Hannah a little shocked.

  Maybe that opened up some doors the dy wasn’t ready to go through, so Hannah decided to expin just one of the ways. “Magic is far more common in our lives. There are witches that travel from pce to pce who perform different magics for different reasons. One is they can make a potion in which I believe they put one of the women’s blood into and then give it to the other. It makes the one who drinks it pregnant with the other’s child. At least I think that’s how it worked but I also don’t know magic. Eine and I weren’t ready to talk about starting a family so I never really questioned how it worked too much.” Hannah went to stop, but thought of something else to add. “Even couples between men and women used it when they struggled to have children as well.”

  If there were potions that could make Rayne go through the right puberty then she couldn’t deny the possibility of potions that could do what Hannah had said. Rayne knew of magic to prevent pregnancy, like the seal, but she honestly didn’t really know if there was magic to help one get pregnant. At least for humans. She had never needed to know so she never bothered to look. “That… That sounds really nice.” Rayne could feel the buried feelings about being pregnant starting to come up, but she shoved them back down. Rayne felt like she needed to ask something light. “I don’t suppose you have any good book recommendations about two women falling in love?”

  Hannah smiled at the thought. “I do, but they’re in Everlian and I don’t know if you would be able to find them here.”

  The smile on Hannah’s face made Rayne feel so much better. “You never know, they might be here and advertised as elven books.”

  “I fear they would be terribly expensive.” Just like Hannah’s pendant had been. She felt the pendant hanging on her chest under the clothes. Hannah had found a small leather neckce with an intricate silver csp tucked under the cushion in the box. It wasn’t the original neckce for her pendant, but the neckce wasn’t the important part. It was still hard to believe Rayne had spent so much time and money to find her pendant, but she was more grateful to Rayne than she would ever be able to express in words.

  “Oh, most definitely. I don’t suppose I would be able to even tell the difference if I didn’t have you with me.” The mood in the room felt so much lighter.

  “I am unsure of how a collector would feel to have a kin determine whether their artifacts were real or not.” The smile was still on Hannah’s face as she imagined doing just that.

  Seeing Hannah smile was so uplifting. Rayne thought of an idea that she had the other night. “Then maybe you could teach me some Everlian so I could tell the difference myself.”

  Hannah’s mind was brought back to the current moment and out of the small daydream of ruining a noble human’s day. “You… you would want to learn Everlian?” Hannah’s chest felt tight but somehow not in a bad way.

  Rayne nodded. “I’m sure it would be nice for you to have someone to talk to in your first nguage. And on the slight chance that I do ever come across such a book I would actually be able to read a love story that reflects the way I feel. There are also other benefits to speaking a nguage the vast majority of people don’t know.” There was a brief moment of panic that washed through Rayne as she saw Hannah’s eyes getting misty, but then the tail in her p started to aggressively wag. “I must warn you I am not the best of students. I’m barely passable in Treysian and I had those lessons for years.”

  The ecstatic joy Hannah was suddenly feeling was hard to contain, but her tail was doing it’s damn best to let Rayne know how she felt. Now she would have two students to teach. “I can work with difficult students.”

  Trinidia