Ivy scowled at the sight of a massive Christmas tree in the middle of an airport, decorated with a sickening amount of tinsel, baubles and lights. Harley was distracted by the Angel on the very top for half a second, before she gnced back at Ivy as she felt her grip tighten around her hand.

  “If people just got fake trees…” She groaned, squeezing the ridge of her nose “I’d…”“Hey, I know this time a’ year is always difficult but…”“Harley, it’s November 2nd. Millions cut down every year! Hardly anyone even uses recycble wrapping paper for the crap gifts that just end up in ndfills come January. And there’s so much pollution. Honestly, it’s mass consumerism at it’s worst!” She growled

  Harley rested a hand on her cheek, concern in her eyes “I know. Hey, if it makes you feel any betta’ we could choke a CEO to death with tinsel once we deal with the Mould?”Ivy gave her a slight smile “I’d like that.”

  With a gleeful ear to ear grin, Harley skipped forwards, trailing her partner behind her. The airport was full of people, stepping over and pushing past each other. Few even paid attention to the couple at first, too absorbed in their journeys. The suits, the dads who insisted that they needed to be at the airport twelve hours before their flight, the stag and hen parties. Ivy’s gaze moved away from Harley for just a moment as one of the suits stood out to her and she marched towards him, now pulling Harley with her.

  “Gerald Hugo Bexley…”He was middle aged, his suit costing a year’s sary if you worked minimum and he was making a desperate attempt to show he wasn’t balding by the little hair he had left over bald patches. His brown eyes were filled with disgust as he didn’t even look up from his phone.“Look dy, I'm busy…”

  With a scowl, she used her free hand to push his phone away. He immediately spun around, raising a hand“I told you…” He stopped, seeing the couple “Oh, crap.”“What this guy do, Ive?” “Dumped toxic waste illegally…”“Hey, I already paid the fine!”

  Letting go of Harley, she grabbed him by the scruff of his expensive suit and pulled him in closer.“Do you have any idea how many lives you ruined?”He started to tremble “Do-don’t kill me! I got money!”“Oh, I’m not going to kill you…” She smiled slyly “Not yet anyway…”

  She leaned in closer, kissing him on the cheek and blowing pheromones into his face. Gerald was under her spell within moments, rexed with an ear to ear smile on his face.“What can I do for you…Empress?” “We need your private jet. And you’re gonna donate your wealth to…” She turned back to face Harley “Peanut…I’m drawing a bnk here.” “Uhh…An animal shelter?” She gave a cartoonish shrug “Oh, a non-kill one!”

  Ivy smiled and turned back to face Gerald, clearing her throat “Yes, you’ll donate it all to no-kill animal shelters…And then. Once every single penny you have is gone, you’ll do the Earth a favour and kill yourself.”“Anything for you, my Empress.”

  Gerald started to move away, swaying while he walked and humming to himself.“Ive…” Her eyes went wide“Harls, I keep telling you. These guys are parasites.” She squeezed the ridge of her nose “He has it coming, trust me.” “No, it ain’t that.”

  The airport had stopped, every single traveller at a standstill and in total silence, the sound of phone notifications being the only thing that filled the lobby. Eyes, filled with judgement, disgust and rage, looked up from their pocket computers and focused on the couple. One by one, every set of eyes in the airport, other than those Gerald were honed in on them.

  The whispering followed. “Monsters.“Perverts.”“Freaks.”“Predators.”“Men.”

  Harley pulled out her own phone and gasped as a slew of accusations and word diarrhoea filled article after article. “Uh…Ive.” She sharply turned around and her jaw dropped “No…”

  The swarm started to close in, and Ivy stepped forwards, clearing her throat.“Whatever you’re reading, uh…It’s not true. Harley and I may respect and fight for…”“Die!” A voice from the swarm screamed“But we aren’t…”

  Seven men marched out the crowd, wearing TSA uniforms with pistols drawn while Harley and Ivy stood back to back below the giant Christmas tree.“Get on the ground, freaks!”“Peanut…” Ivy whispered “On three, I need you to hit the deck.”“Please give me an excuse…” Another agent chuckled dryly, clicking the safety off his gun“Wait, do you mean like one two three, hit the deck or…”“No, on three.”

  She nodded“One.”“Give the people a show, dies.” Another agent spat “Two…” Ivy clenched her fists behind her back ““Alright boys.” Another agent spoke up “Give these monsters what they deserve…” “Three!” Ivy shouted.

  Before a single shot could be fired, Ivy raised her arms forward, and the branches of the tree swooped down, blocking the hail of bullets. After every TSA agent had fully unloaded, she commanded the branches to swoop across, striking with such force that three of the men were instantly decapitated. Pines shot from the branch and blinded one agent. He screamed in pain and held his face, falling to the ground while the remaining agents dodged out of the way.

  Before they got a chance to reload, Harley had already charged them, bat in hand. She struck one across the face, breaking his nose and sending teeth flying. As he tried to recover, she kicked his legs out from under him and bashed his head in. One of his remaining comrades swung at her with a baton in hand. She dodged the blow and kicked him in the groin. While the wind was knocked out of him, she brought the bat down, cracking his skull.

  One agent remained, and had managed to reload his gun but before he could shoot Harley, a branch impaled him from behind and he was flung into the air, screaming as he hit a departures and arrivals screen and covering it with his bloody remains.

  “Just proves what we all know!” A shout from the crowd echoed“What?!” Harley spat “They were trying to shoot us!”“Yeah, and you should’ve let them. It’s what your kind deserves.”

  She growled “Fuck this. No reasoning with these bozos.” Bloodied bat in hand, she moved back towards Ivy’s side. “Any idea where that private jet is?”“Bexley had his own parking spot.” Ivy groaned “He tried to pay extra for a solid gold runway, but obviously that idea was shot down.”“Guess we fightin’ our way through these guys?” She chuckled nervously“Stay close, Peanut.”

  She kissed her on the cheek and readied her bat as the swarm of enraged commuters charged towards them. Branches of the giant Christmas tree came swooping down, blocking off one side of the swarm and forcing them into a bottleneck. Harley jumped onto one of the branches, running along it with bat in hand and striking every head within arms reach. Teeth, blood, hats and even a few toupees flew. A pstic tiara, worn by the bride in a hen party flew up into the air as she struck her in the nose, and Harley caught it in free hand. With a gleeful smile, she pced the now bloody tiara on her head and kept running.

  The branch changed direction, leading her back to Ivy as another branch came down, finishing off the travellers Harley had left wounded. Loose pines and cracked baubles decorated the now bloodied floor.

  With the side of the swarm being held back by the rge branch, a few had managed to climb over but Harley made short work of them, sliding along the wet floor and taking out their legs at the knees with her bat. The cracking of bones and yells of pain filled the air as she jumped to her feet, avoiding another branch as it crushed them.

  Her smile faded as the front doors to the airport had a swarm of their own pushing over each other, each person filled with nothing but rage and disgust as they charged inside, frothing at the mouth and screaming enough slurs between them to fill a thesaurus.

  “Oh, crap!”The floor started to crack open as the roots of the giant tree shot upwards, forming a barricade and impaling dozens of the swarm in the process. People cmbered over the dead bodies but before the gap could be closed, Ivy wrapped an arm around her partner as a branch enveloped them both, lifting them into the air and atop the tree.

  By now, the entire airport lobby was filled with the furious swarm, Not a single inch was left uncovered and even the carnage left by the two was hard to spot from their high ground. They charged towards the tree itself and although furious swings from the branches knocked many of them back into the pointed roots, impaling them, the mob started to climb. Those that missed the roots broke bones in the fall, but persisted nonetheless. Harley noted one in particur had a bone sticking from his left arm, but climbed the tree through a combination his his right arm and his teeth.

  Thinking quickly, Harley grabbed a glittery bauble and threw it into the air, striking it with her bat on the way down. The added momentum caused it to fly through the air, striking one of the climbers straight through the head, the bloodied bauble emerging and striking another climber behind him in the face, causing him to lose his grip and fall to the ground, breaking his neck.

  With an ear to ear mischievous grin, she reached for another bauble, ughing maniacally. The second didn't quite manage a headshot, but it did topple a row of climbers as it struck one in the hand, hard, shattering his bones. As he yelled in pain, he lost his grip and those behind him fell like dominoes to the bottom of the tree where a well-pced root had emerged, impaling the lot.

  The two lovers shot cheeky half-smiles at each other as the carnage only continued to pile up but their relief was short-lived as a rge TSA agent entered the doors of the airport, with two metal cannisters on his back and a rge gun in his hands, a metal tube feeding back into the cannisters.

  "Oh, shit..." Ivy muttered. She commanded a branch to fly towards him, but dozens of people from the mob jumped in the way, taking the blows themselves. Some, even ripped apart by the force of the tinsel-covered horror.

  "I figure, you two freaks are destined for Hell as is. May as well send you there with a little teaser." He chuckled loudly. Harley tried to knock a bauble his way, but another of the mob jumped in the path, the decoration blowing a hole through his chest and taking a chunk of his lungs with it.

  Ivy stretched out her hands, her eyes glowing green as she tried to command every branch on the tree towards the agent but, he had already squeezed the trigger. The fme shot forwards in a stream, covering some of the mob who, despite screaming in pain as flesh melted from their bones, still attempted to charge the tree. The incredibly fmmable tinsel towards the bottom was the first to catch fire, and it spread within seconds.

  Ivy screamed, raising her arms and tearing through the floor of the airport. In one final act of defiance, the tree's roots impaled the agent. Jagged roots shot through his shoes, causing him to cry out in pain before one more root shot through the bottom of his chin, piercing his brain instantly.

  The parts of the tree untouched by the fire swing wildly in every direction, striking furiously at the mob while Ivy continued to yell out. Harley grabbed her by the arm.

  "Ive!”“I need to make them pay for this!” She growled, baring her teeth.“I know, I know you’re pissed. But we need to go.” She pleaded, desperation in her eyes.

  She let out one final scream, as almost every branch lifted into the air, striking the mob one final time, sending them plummeting to the ground. Ivy stepped onto one final branch, taking Harley’s hand as it lowered them behind the tree. The roots of the dying tree formed a barricade that the mob started to sm their bodies into, the burning ones at the front.

  “It wouldn’t have even been here if it wasn’t for this stupid holiday!” She kicked the ground Harley took Ivy’s hands in her own “Breathe. Scream all you need to on the pne.” Ivy breathed in deeply “Okay, Peanut.”

  The two sprinted through the now emptied security and towards the departure gates, the barricade barely holding as they made their way down a long tunnel. Ivy led the way towards a private runway belled Bexley runway in solid gold letters.“Looks like they compromised.” Harley sighed.

  They stopped in their tracks as they heard the sound of wood snapping in the distance and followed by the sounds of furious screaming. The mob was frothing at the mouth, a nearly endless tirade of slurs pouring out of each of their lips. Harley gasped, but was brought back to focus by Ivy, dragging her by the arm towards the runway where a sleek, jet bck private pne awaited, Bexley’s name and face pstered across the side; granted with a full head of hair and looking about ten years younger.

  The door to the front of the pne opened, a set of gold-pted stairs lowering to the ground. “Jock, start the engine! Get it up!” Harley yelled. The shattering of gss from behind them filled their ears as the mob once more cmbered over each other to get close.

  A hail of bullets erupted from the open door, as a man dressed in a pilot’s uniform and wearing a set of aviator shades emerged wielding an assault rifle. He had a head of well-groomed long dark hair and rocked a well-trimmed beard.

  The couple climbed aboard past him and he emptied the remainder of his clip as the door started to shut.

  “I take it you’re Ivy?” He asked, pulling off his shades and revealing a set of piercing hazel eyes. He had a well-spoken and grand English accent. The author had Matt Berry’s voice in her head when writing his lines, so she’s going to stick with that.

  “I am Wentworth, Mr Bexley’s butler, pilot and at times, I take out the rubbish. He said to expect you. Although I can’t imagine why now, there’s a horde of brutes looking to tear you to pieces…”

  The roar of the pne’s engines had already started as Wentworth walked into the cockpit, speeding down the runway while some of the mob tried to climb onto the tyres. Several flew off as the pne ascended, but a determined few managed to cling on. That determination wasn’t enough to save them from being ripped in half as the nding gear ascended into the pne.

  Wentworth lowered his assault rifle and walked towards the cockpit. Most of the pne’s interior had gold pting on it’s tables, on cushions but a stripper pole towards the back of the pne caught Harley’s eye. Wentworth emerged.

  “Mr Bexley said to take care of you as his Empress and that all your requests were to be listened to…But, where is Mr Bexley?” “Uhhh….” Ivy avoided looking Wentworth in the eyes.“He uh, he’s doin some charity work.” Harley shrugged“Impossible. Mr Bexley was a total bastard who never cared about anyone. He’s never remembered my birthday, for instance.”“Oh, so you hate him too?” “Well, hate is such a strong word…” He cleared his throat “Perhaps I’ve said too much.”

  He squinted “Wait. You killed him, didn’t you?” “Technically he’s about to kill himself…” Harley chuckled nervously “Well…Bugger. Seems I’m out of a job.”“How’s this…” Harley smiled “You fly us where we need to go, and if you sell this pne you’d probably be set for life. No more working for billionaires who forget your birthday.”

  He managed a very small smile.“I say, that does sound nice. Very well. Where to, dies?” “Edinburgh.” Ivy commanded coldly“Yes yes very good thank you.” He nodded “Do you want an in-flight movie, or perhaps could I interest you in a meal for the journey?” “Maybe for her. But I need to go into the Green.”“Uh…I can certainly put on some green mood lighting if that’s what you mean.”“No, uh…Jock. It’s a realm where she can talk to pnts.”“Oh! Well, if you get a chance, can you say hello to my Japanese Peace Lily? I haven’t seen her in months.”“I’ll see what I can do I guess…” Ivy shrugged “Tell her I love her.”

  “Aww.” Harley beamed