The way they chose not to talk about that incident, as if such a thing never happened, was bothering Theo. Because ever since then, he felt Le An was putting a distance between them, Theo thought that night was the reason. Killing someone in front of Le An when he was beyond vulnerable had turned Theo into those people Le An despised the most; that's what Theo thought about Le An's perspective.

  Theo knew those partners were being used and pushed to spend the night and die, but he was not brave enough to break the truth to Le An. Now, he was te. And even though it seemed like nothing really changed between them, he was eager to talk, to expin himself somehow. But words wouldn't come out, and his courage would crash into the wall Le An put between them.

  A lighthearted stature and an always-smiling face. Just like now. He was smiling at him, his figure seemed petite from afar, the room had no window, leaving Le An’s face illuminated by just a bedside mp. As he got up, Theo could see the hem of his t-shirt wrinkled, probably squeezed by Le An, out of stress. Theo would prefer his anger and agony. But he would hardly show that to anyone.

  The exposure practice they did was indeed basic. Theo would gradually release his pheromones, and Le An would endure as long as he could. The emotion attached pheromones were categorized, for example, it was easier for Le An to endure moderate fear-inducing pheromones than seduction-inducing pheromones. In other words, he was used to being afraid, but a novice towards love and seduction.

  "Starting fear-inducing type. Now." They were standing face to face as minutes passed. A little ter, Le An fell weakly into Theo's arms, trembling, saying, "I can't-"

  "One more minute, I will add a bit of oppression."

  "Ugh!" Le An staggered right as he felt the oppression. He took two or three steps back. He hardly raised his chin and kept his body calm. He felt the urge to fall on his knees and "acknowledge the oppression", but that was the mental obstacle he had to face most. Suddenly, the man from the night came into his mind. His oppression was no joke, and if he could get even slightly better at resisting the mental blockade he experiences, maybe he could see a way out of that.

  "Well done. 30 seconds longer than st time." Theo took the oppression back as he patted his shoulder. Le An took a few sips of water from the bottle Theo gave him. He rested for a minute, then got up right again.

  "Now, seduction-inducing pheromones. You ready?"

  "Yes."

  At first, Le An would seem ignorant of the pheromones, which would mean he can hold his mental state clear together from the seduction at first. But as two minutes passed, he would give subtle reactions like sweating and slight trembling. He would not be able to avert his eyes from the alpha if the seduction pheromones were near him and just for him. Being the sole target of seduction and meeting the eyes of the alpha that targeted him was shattering for his walls, and it was about his personality. He was weak for intimacy. And after 3 minutes are over, they would start to work with physical touch. "I'll touch you now. Try your best to block me."

  "Yes." His voice was hoarse already.

  Theo held his wrist lightly, he shook it. Then he pushed him away. "Nice. That was strong." Then Theo held him from his arm, getting closer. The scent was even more apparent now. That made Le An's reaction te, but he shuddered at the sensation and shook his arm again, tightly holding the arm that captured him, spinning his body quickly and sliding underneath from his long arm and bending his wrist. "And... then I'll kick him."

  "Yes. Very well. I'll release some more and attack again now."

  The scent got even stronger. "Hah!" Le An's upper body leaned forward quickly to smell it more, they came eye to eye as he tried to gather himself together. He shook Theo's hands again, but his lower body was tense, so tense that he felt miserable. "Huu… I... No."

  He ran away to the other side of the room. Theo got in front of him again, trying to catch his neck. He grabbed it on the second try, but Le An once again dodged it with a move he learned. "Then I'll punch." He said, panting.

  Theo came faster towards him; he compressed him between the wall and his body this time. Le An thought that he could taste the smell of autumn now if he could give himself and... sniff it. Le An lost again for a second.

  "You started to give off slight pheromones now. Take it in control."

  Theo's nose slightly touched his neck. He inhaled Le An's faint scent, then exhaled slowly. "Le An?"

  "Theo..." As if he were crying, Le An's voice came out. His hands were now wringing Theo's shirt. Pulling him or pushing him, uncertain of what to do. His eyes were moist, shining in the dim, yellow light. Theo looked up close to him. Le An's eyes were... Beautiful.

  "I can't take it anymore." Le An was snuggling his head onto his shoulder, reflexively rubbing his upper body against his. Words were right at the tip of his tongue. Hold me. Theo, help me. It was a mind game for him. The next second, he was keeping his head down, ashamed and stressed. "I'm sorry... Uhm... Let's stop."

  Theo continued to stare at him. His groin was tense; to not initiate anything, he was keeping his body as stiff as he could. No way... He thought and took his gaze away from Le An, putting his chin on Le An's head. There was no way for an omega to keep himself safe from this. And there was no way for an alpha to resist an omega. And if that omega was Le An, if it was that precious one... Le An, just by being himself, was in danger.

  He was unreachable, unattainable, as if on top of a mountain. Where he stood was cold. But once you have the chance to meet him, to get close to him, to look at him and get even closer to him, once you get on top of that mountain, it was warm. He was sweet, cruelly kind, and beautiful.

  That was why Theo volunteered to keep him safe. He would stay on top of that mountain with him, with the warmest soul on his side, in the freezing weather.

  Soon, Le An felt something cold and solid inside his hand. He looked down and stared at it. It was a knife.

  "When it's inevitable, this is the next step, Le An. You made it this far."

  Le An looked puzzled. Theo grabbed his fist and tightened it. "Try to make a move with it now."

  Le An looked at his eyes. The knife fell from his hand immediately. "No." He said. He leaned his head on Theo's chest and kept silent.

  Theo looked at his neck, not being able to see his face, didn't prevent him from guessing what Le An was feeling now. He inhaled the air under him quietly, one st time, reflexively. And took a step back. "Okay." He stopped releasing and held Le An's shoulder. Until he made eye contact with him. "We will try again ter. You were better this time."

  Le An nodded, averting his eyes. Looking at the knife on the floor. No, he thought. The arousing feeling was now leaving his body, and uneasiness was taking over his mind. Theo led him to the bed and said, "Now sit and rest for a few minutes, I'll run a bath for you until the room ventites."

  While he was stealing gnces at the knife again, Le An was dizzy and lost in his thoughts. No, I will never be able to... I don't... I don't even want to try..."

  He looked at Theo's receding figure and mumbled. "I don't ever want to kill anyone to save myself."

  I'm not even worth it.