Chapter 12
After the looking dubiously at Venus, Joe decided it was better to see what was happening with His status than to stay ignorant. So he opened it up and grew wide eyed at what he saw.
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Name
Age
Bloodline
Lucky fool bloodline permanently limits your wisdom to 5 while boosting your luck by a factor of 1000.
Occupation
Class Rating
Stats
Strength
Agility
Endurance
Perception
Intelligence
Wisdom
Luck
Titles
Nutter Butter, Cheap Shot
Skills
Passive: The Nutcracker, Unexpected!
Bad Deed Points
135
Active Quests
-Lead your gang to the next level of Evil!
-Defeat a rival gang.
-Drive Truck-Kun: Use a Truck to strike random individuals and send them to another world
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"Truck-Kun? What kinda quest is that?" (Joe)
“Nice titles! Someone naughty limited your bloodline. Tsk, tsk, they must have been quite jealous. Bob could have lifted that blockage at any time. How small minded of him. Too many years as top dog led him to lazy complacency and not a little bit of blindness. I bet you thought you were a very unlucky person lately. Well, we’ll see what happens from now on. What a little prize you are. Well, let's get to work, evil deeds don't do themselves". (Venus)
“Um, Joe? What just happened? Who was that old guy?” (Jake)
“Yeah, and who’s this miniature Elvira character?” (Will)
“Joe, what did she mean by bloodline?” (Samantha)
“1. That was Joe the Angel, but something was wrong with him. 2. I don’t know. I guess it’s the result of combining Bob and the Scratch on WACO 3. I don’t know, Samantha, It’s the first I’ve heard of it. Though it looks like from now on I’ll be extremely lucky.” (Joe)
“So… What happened to Bob?” (Joe to Venus)
“O don’t worry about him; you can’t destroy an anomaly like him. They always resurface eventually in one form or another. Now, onto spreading our evil deeds and conquering the world”. (Venus)
“Um Joe, I don’t think this is a good idea…” (Samantha)
“System, is there any way for me to say things that the system won’t hear?”
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.
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“Yes. Simply say ‘turn on privacy mode’, and the system will go on standby until you turn it off.” (APP)
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Looking between His friends and new ‘Fallen Angel’ Joe said, “Would you mind giving us a minute, Venus? System, turn om privacy mode”.
“pppfff, Whatever.” (Venus) disappearing in a poof of sparks and ash.
The group of friends all looked at each other for a moment. It was will who first noticed that Jake was busy straightening his hair, fixing his posture, and brushing the crumbs out of his clothes from the crackers that went flying out of the box.
“…What? Why are you all staring at me?” (Jake)
Not missing a beat, Will began singing “Jake and Venus sitting in a tree, k.i.s.s.i.n.g. First comes love then…”
His song was then promptly interrupted by a flying flipflop that Jake had grabbed from under his bed. “Shut up, Will!!” Jake yelled, turning a bit red.
“She ain’t bad lookin’.” Samantha declared while nodding her head and smiling a mischievous little smile.
“Forget about all that. What are we going to do now!” (Joe)
“What’s so bad about this? You didn’t even like Bob.” (Will)
“Yeah, the least we could do is get to know her a little better.” (Jake)
Everyone kinda stopped, turned, and just stared at Jake for a second. After some finger pointing, a bit of red-faced yelling, accusations, flipflop slinging, and general best friend chaos Joe interrupted them once more.
“The problem is that she wants me to do evil deeds, and I ain’t doing that. I might not have wanted Bob to force me into being some goody two-shoes, but I certainly won’t dance for the devil. This won’t work for me at all.
Joe dipped his head, blocking everyone else out for a second so he could think. Things were quickly spinning out of control. There is no way he was going to go out and commit atrocities any more than he was going to go out and save the world! Joe was getting tired of people trying to tell him what to do, and it looked like someone had been controlling him for a very long time.
He had to find a way to balance things out; some ying for the yang, some harmony…. But what, how.
“Guys, we need to combine her with something else to balance this out… But what? When she reappears, she’ll be seated on the table, so this might be our only chance.” (Joe)
“A Furby?” (Will)
“What? No! do you want to unleash Armageddon.” (Joe)
“A police hat?” (Jake)
“No, she’s already to controlling, and we don’t want her to be militant as well.” (Samantha)
And the ideas kept flying
“My computer?”
“Nope. No evil AI today.”
And so went the conversation for the better part of 30 minutes. After everyone had run out of ideas, they just sat there thinking for a while.
“I need this system to be more apathetic if I’m going to be able to really connect with it. Besides that, we need Bob to somehow be the guiding personality, not that cat.” (Joe)
“…gang… I might have an idea… If you’d like to hear it?” (Jason)
“eh, why not? Go ahead, Jason”. (Joe)
“Well, I was watching the tv the other day, kinda bored outa my mind. There I was flipping through the channels, and I happened to turn it to that scene where Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh was just sitting there all apathetically and then it cut to a commercial about snickers…” (Jason)
“That’s right! If you’re not yourself then you eat a Snickers!” (Will)
Combine that with an Eeyore doll, and boom! Apathetic Joe is back on the table!” (Jake)
“This might work!” (Joe)
“Are you sure this is a good idea, you really don’….” (Samantha)
The other’s didn’t hear her. They were immediately consumed with trying to find a snickers bar. They found half of one under the bed.
“But who has an Eeyore doll?” (Will)
“…You guys can’t laugh…” (Jason)
“You! Hahahahahhhahahaha…” (Jake)
“Shut it Jake”, said Joe punching him in the shoulder. Turning to Jason, he said “If you have one, I could really use it.”
“Okay, but you’ve got to put in a good word for me with the gang, I’ve been trying to get in with them for the longest time”. (Jason)
“Deal.” (Joe)
They quickly placed the small Eeyore doll on the WACO next to the half-eaten bar of Snickers. Thinking for a moment, Joe plucked a white feather from the Dreamweaver on Jakes wall and added it to the mix as well. Joe placed his hand near the button and looked at the gang.
“Yall ready??” (Joe)
“I’m not so sure this is a good idea, Joe. What if something goes wrong?” (Samantha)
“I wouldn’t worry about that. My luck is over 9000 now.” (Joe)
Samantha’s jaw hit the floor at that, and she went quiet. Seeing that there was no other protest, Joe proceeded.
“System, end privacy mode.” (Joe)
With a poof of sparks and ash, Venus appeared. She glanced around the table, and seeing what was on it, her eyes went wide. She started making a move to jump off the WACO when Joe hit the button. Light and sound filled the air again.
When all went silent again, the friends glanced at the table waiting for the smoke to clear. Before anyone could react, Scratch the black cat jumped off, ran out the door and disappeared for the next week. Not before defecating on the couch as a sign of anger and protest. Samantha took off after the cat. “Oh, you poor dear!! I’ll take care of you.” She yelled as she ran out the door.
As everyone was looking at the door Scratch and Samantha had run out of, they heard a small sigh behind themselves. Turning to look, they saw what could only be described as Bob the Grey. No longer Bob the White, Bob the grey was a frumpy, bald old man of an angel with grey feathers on his wings and clothes.
“Oh… Hello… I’m Bob, short for Balding Old Buddy. Not that you would care about that.” (Bob the Grey)
The gang looked around at each other unsure of what they had done or how to proceed. What does one do with a depressed system?
“Bob? Are you okay?” (Joe)
Bob just sighed and ignored the question starting off into the middle distance with a neutral look on his face. He snapped his fingers, but even that sound was muted.
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“I’ll be taking care of all your needs for the time being, Bob has expressed his wishes that he be ignored until further notice”. (APP)
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With that, Bob disappeared with a small poof of dust bunnies and crumbled mothball.
‘Cough, cough. “Ugh that smells like old people in the worst way possible”. (Will)
“So, what we goin’ ta do about Bob?” (Jake)
About that time, there was a knock on the door, and someone called out for Joe. After opening up, the friends saw that the Willowford gang had returned.
“Hey Boss, It’s me, Nathan. We took Bill to the hospital, but something happened on the way. Our guys were running their mouths about the fight and how you took old Bill down in one shot, and someone overheard us. I’m real sorry boss…” (Nathan)
“So, this is where you’ve been hiding. When are you going to pay me the money you owe me”. (Leroy Snerdly the Loan Shark)
That’s right, Joe’s debt had come calling.
End chapter 12
