Ian
Ian sat in French class chewing on his pencil. He was deep in thought, but it was not about French. He kept thinking about Chris in his room that morning. Ian caught Chris watching him getting dressed. Ian noted how Chris’s eyes did not immediately dart away. There was a curiosity in his eyes. Ian also remembered Chris looking up the legs of his shorts the other day. Ian did not intentionally expose himself but was a little happy Chris caught a glimpse. It showed to Ian that Chris was telling him the truth. In the common room, Chris told Ian that he was curious. Chris’s stolen glances were proof to Ian that Chris was indeed a little curious about other guys.
Ian was more than a little flattered of Chris’s peeks. Ian never thought of himself as handsome, but he never thought he was ugly either. Ian was still an attractive guy despite his efforts to make himself as grungy as possible. He had dark brown hair and striking dark green eyes. A person had to look closely to tell the color of his eyes. They were light brown closest to the pupils and turned to a rich green towards the whites of his eyes. They were rimmed with a dark green. His skin was a uniform warm medium tone. He tanned easily. He was three-quarters Northern European and one-quarter Southern European. His Mediterranean characteristics clearly overshadowed his English and Irish heritage. The bleached hair was certainly a mismatch for his features but did not take away from his handsomeness. Ian kept in shape easily but could never achieve an overly muscular physique. He had a little definition in his muscles without being bulky. His body was mostly smooth.
He knew early on that he liked guys the way his friends liked girls. However, he never allowed himself to be true to his feelings. For the longest time, he denied the possibility of perusing guys. His family was well-to-do but were not of the old money group. His father inherited his grandfather’s local real estate empire. So, while Ian’s family were more than comfortable, they could not pay for tuition at Wellington without assistance.
It wasn’t until he turned 16 that he started to indulge in the lifestyle. Over the years, he found a couple of Playgirls that he enjoyed flipping through. He found an X-rated video hidden in the cabinet of VHS movies that he watched that summer. He allowed himself to keep his eye on the males in the videos. He still felt guilty about ogling over the men, but he found himself slowly being at ease with fantasizing about the men in the video or in the Playgirls when he masturbated.
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He was good at changing the subject when his friends talked about sexual conquests with girls. His friends would not have given him grief about being gay. He was just not ready to admit to his feelings yet. When he went away to college, he discovered the joy of drinking which dissolved all his inhibitions. His freshman year, he tried to rush so that he could hang out with other guys more. He didn’t necessarily want to join a fraternity to find a boyfriend. He just hoped that the odds would be stacked in his favor—at least one other guy had to be willing to experiment. During his freshmen year, he made out with another guy. He didn’t feel like it counted since he and the other guy were three sheets to the wind. Both barely remembered what they had done. Naturally, the other guy shunned him. Shortly thereafter, Ian had his drunken incident when he outed himself to the world.
He came out to his parents and his siblings who were not shocked at all. The summer between his freshman and sophomore year, he began exploring the small gay scene that Carbondale, Illinois had to offer. He went to a pride event and befriended a guy. The friendship, in retrospect, was just a quick courting leading to a hook-up. Once he and this other guy had their carnal fun, they never saw each other again. Ian hooked up with a random guy at Lollapalooza. It was nothing more than mutual masturbation under the influence of marijuana behind a concession stand. Once it was over, Ian went back to enjoying Jane’s Addiction. Ian’s experience as a sexually active gay man had been extremely limited up to this point.
There was a certain over-friendliness that Chris had towards Ian. Most of his interactions with guys at Wellington were both limited and transactional—let’s study for this test or let’s compare answers to the homework. Most guys at Wellington tended to avoid Ian. This was likely because of his drunken confession. It could also be because Ian’s look did not fit in with the preppy attitude of Wellington. Ian did not fit the mold of an old money trust fund baby. There was something about Chris that was different. Chris seemed interested in being around Ian. Chris had a glimmer of excitement when he was around Ian.
As class ended, Ian realized that he had been thinking about Chris the entire class. Ian realized that he wanted to spend more time with Chris. He was a little curious as to how far he could pique Chris’s curiosity about being with another guy. Of course, he would never push Chris into doing something he was uncomfortable doing. He would never push another guy’s boundaries. However, as he gathered his books and made his way to his next class, he at least wanted to find out where Chris’s boundaries were.
