***

  ...innate magic does sound—

  Sync-in Complete? Huh? Wasn’t that the first notification I saw? No…I think the first one was maybe a little different. At this point, I’m sure it doesn’t matter.

  Wonder if Jake saw it too.

  I should go ask him. Shit, stood up too fast, swiftly stumbling to ask, and…stop, is this really fucking important right now?

  Maybe.

  Probably not though.

  Stupid brain; focus.

  Get your profile done. This is life or death shit, damnit!

  I sit back down.

  Focusing, focusing, focusing, and…

  Nothing.

  Fuck. Me. That goddamn notification must have kicked me out of flow.

  I wonder how much time I lost, and check my watch. Only fourteen minutes. Bittersweet. Losing time tends to happen to me when I hit that blissful flow state. Feels like my self shifts into some sorta superfast neurocycle, and I’m zipping through a retrowave tunnel with only my cycle’s underlights and the ceiling’s stream-bulbs to light the way; everything outside that tunnel ceasing to exist and my production is just speeding at breakneck speeds…but now I’ve come out the other side of that flow-tunnel and can already feel the post-flow state crash. The dull thrum and mental fatigue are rapidly settling in.

  I try to exit out of the Character Profile so I can go make a drink.

  A prompt interjects.

  I select Yes, and get off my back. Stretching and yawning as I go to grab some water. Probably an energy drink too.

  The time is 12:22; angel numbers again?

  I’m so close to being finished with the Profile. I think I can do it all in the next seventeen minutes. Just gotta get my head back in the zone.

  In the kitchen, we got candles all over and shadows dance pirouettes across the walls and fixtures. The contrast between the light and dark is blurred though; I can’t help but stop and marvel at the reason behind the difference: a Feature, which I got courtesy of my Leo Rising, called Darkside, makes it so I can see in darkness like it’s dim light, giving everything a sort of early dawn look to it, all dim, and saturated; somewhat sepia maybe, I think sepia’s the right word there—damn; wish my dictionary app still worked. Whatever (Darksight is dope).

  I open the door to the fridge, reach into grab an energy drink as cold air drifts across my hand. Popping the tab on yet another 200mg of caffeine, I sip and smile. The beverage is perfectly chilled.

  Maybe my Doomsday Chef Quirk isn’t so bad after all.

  Back in my office, hopefully for the last fucking time, I take a seat in my emerald green chair.

  Still feeling pretty grateful that the system allowed me to save a draft of my Profile before any of the changes are permanent, I decide to go over my Character Profile once more.

  Leaning forward in the chair so I don’t drift to sleep, I start strobe-light style blinking my eyes to try opening my Character Profile, because I still can’t figure out what Jake meant when he explained it to me, and I probably look like a fucking maniac.

  Then it works. The first thing I notice on the Character Profile’s proverbial homepage is that the System kept their promise. All my work is saved, and all the changes I’ve made are still visible across the page, denoted by parentheticals and italicized typography.

  There was some level of hesitancy when this one came up, because I had once sworn I was a Cancer rising. But then again, I had also sworn at one point I was a Gemini rising. Then I remembered I didn’t have my birth certificate when I’d guessed Cancer and Gemini…the timing, as it would turn out, was way off.

  No big deal. Could be worse. I could have gone by my entire life, or worse, an entire first draft, building a character arc around a fucking ascendent sign, only to realize that sign was wrong; leading to a complete rewrite, at which point psychological hangups about self-worth and belief would come in, convincing me to write a[nother] shitty bit of social commentary all to cover up shortcomings as a storyteller, and if lucky, mask my general apathy toward life (let alone re-researching). All of it channeled through a Leo rising protagonist projecting his own severe inadequacies in a semi-comical way…that would definitely be worse, if it had happened, which it didn’t, obviously.

  Features worked out all right though.

  Unarmored Defense

  In battle, you fight with primal ferocity. When you are not wearing any armor or wielding a shield, you gain +10 to Resiliency.

  Fury Gauge:

  As a Barbarian, you are imbued with a Fury Gauge. When your Fury Gauge reaches 30%, you may enter Berserk Mode. While in Berserk Mode, you no longer draw on Stamina. If not wearing heavy armor, you gain the following benefits:

  

  
• +2 Dexterity


  
• +5 Strength


  
• +10% Attack Speed


  
• When making a melee attack, you gain a 5% bonus to Critical hit chance.


  
• Increased resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage.


  

  Fighting Style: Starting at level 1, you adopt a particular style of fighting as your specialty.

  Dual Wielder: Typically, when wielding two weapons, your second-hand attack’s damage deals half damage of the first blow. Selecting Dual Wielder makes you adept, though. You now do damage equal to your Strength modifier with both weapons.

  (Task complete)

  A pocket dimension sounds lovely. Can it hold my existential dread? Is existential dread considered an Item since its likely been created by consumerism? Am I full of shit?

  I’m starting to wonder if the Simulacrum’s builders didn’t take my fate very seriously…

  Wait, did God have crippling depression too?!

  If that’s the case, then…

  …

  well, fuck.