Chapter 5

  Burden of the Protector

  Nil

  The day after we got ready, I trained as hard as possible. Si-yeir told me I couldn’t learn an Alzyir technique because I had none. I used the upper deck to try to practice, and the space was a little small. Regardless, he said if I trained I could get at least something. It was strange though, usually, people get techniques from what Si-yeir said. I walked to Si-yeir, wanting to learn more about techniques.

  “You may not learn a specific technique, but you can learn the basics. And it already seems like some strength from genetics engraved into your body.”

  “Basics? Teach me the basics. I want to learn.” I needed to know everything I could. If anything were to attack, I would need to be ready.

  Si-yier took a deep sigh, then formed a white matter from his hands. A spark ignited the matter, forming a fme. “Alzyir has a basic technique that anyone can learn. I am talking about its basics. While techniques are useful, you need to know fundamentally how you use Alzyir. It will help you learn, and may this be your first step. Focus on forming the energy from your mind.”

  I did what he said to do. I tried as hard as I could, but no matter what, the energy would not appear. Regardless, I kept trying, trying and sweating. I grit at my teeth, emotions boiling within me. Was I even able to make the energy? I can’t do it, anyway. It was all hopeless, because how could I ever focus enough?

  “Don’t give up now. These techniques take time to master, take your time.” Even with what he said, frustration was still all I had. This man didn’t get it. I mean, how could he? He’s probably been doing things all his life. There was no way I could do this, and this entire mission was stupid. I should have just quit right here.

  Hours go by, and I try to channel my energy with all my might. Nothing happens. I kept trying constantly, with no improvement. No matter what I tried, the same outcome would arise.

  Eventually, I gave up for the day. I went back to doing work on repairs with the ship. I knew for sure that the old man was wrong. Maybe he isn’t even well in his head. I mean, look at him. He forced me on this mission to kill the same beast that took away everything from me. The fact he even thought I had a chance was just foolish. I even started questioning Si-yeir’s motives, he had to be hiding something.

  Sometime ter, I was done with repairs, but still eager to know how to make the energy. When I could, I asked Si-yeir. “Could you expin more about how to make that energy? I’m still struggling to grasp it.”

  Si-yeir got up from his chair and demonstrated precise movements with his hands. He made fmes flow through his hands. The fmes were as calm as before and just as beautiful. He said. “Energy is the very core of your being. It is the first step. You manifest the very nature of your soul by using energy. It will be the raw form of your soul. The energy is your sword.”

  Afterward, he turned the once-orange fmes blue. They flowed more vibrantly and calmly. “After, techniques manifest your emotions, dreams, everything. They change the energy under your will. It is how you wield your sword.”

  Si-yeir kept trying to hold up the fire, but at some point, the fme went out. Panting and shaking quietly, he tried to shrug it off. But I had already seen his condition, and I didn’t know what to say. Concern was all I could feel, but I refused to say anything. Si-yeir told me about another thing which was burnout. “If you keep using techniques for too long or do too much, you can experience burnout. The only way to recover from burnout is by resting or Vokaran.”

  “What’s Vokaran?”

  Si-yeir manifested his blue fire once more before hitting the wall. The wall’s wood split in two, but nothing from that occurred. “I failed at nding it, but it is something very rare. You have to transform yourself, like enlightenment. It can take any form but normally forms by a hit, and is a transformation of one’s self. Vokaran gives you massive boosts for a short time. Anyway, I will be going back to my room for now.”

  “Wait, where are you going? How long will be on this boat? Is there something wrong? You haven’t told me everything yet.” Si-yeir was walking back inside, and he looked back at me. We made eye contact for what felt like a minute.

  Looking down, he told me. “A few more days. Don’t worry about it. I just… I just need some time to myself.”

  Left alone up on the upper deck, I wondered why he left. This entire time, he had been suspicious. From the way he talked to him staying inside, it was all strange. Why did he pick me, of all people? I couldn’t trust him, I’m sure of it. Regardless, I continued trying to do what he said.

  For another hour, I kept repeating what he said. Nothing helped, and I only grew more angry. But something just appeared in my mind. A thought, remembering his words. Everything suddenly became way more clear, and I understood. It had to do with my mind, not my body.

  This entire time, I was thinking about what I would do with it if I made the energy and not trying to make it. The energy is what I should focus on, then what I will do with it after. Slowly, I started trying to make it with my mind, with nothing happening. I took a deep breath and focused solely on making the energy. And then, something within me sparked. A glowing white energy formed around my hands, and then I used it to hit the wall. The impact was stronger than what I could do normally, and I was beyond excited.

  As I tried to replicate the energy, I couldn’t replicate it again. Eventually, I gave up, angry with myself. At Least though, I could do it. Even if it was for a moment, I will never forget it. The energy was within me.

  The daylight sun dimmed until repced with moonlight. I was getting tired, with my body exhausted from exercising all day. But as I walked past Si-yeir’s room, the door was open. Since I had the chance to peek inside, I did so. I saw Si-yeir looking at a wall, sweating and panting. His hands shook and even though I couldn’t see his face, I could tell he was pale. It was strange to me, this was the first time seeing him tired like this. Regardless of his condition, I kept going to my room.

  When I got to my room, I found a note on my bed. It was the picture that my grandma had. My memory kicked it, going from my burning vilge to Aubin. The memory of him crushed under the rock, with a face full of worry. Was he still okay? Tears filled my eyes, followed by shame and worry. I wished I could have saved him, and it was all my fault. Why didn’t Si-yeir save him?

  Eventually, I got myself to just deal with it. Nothing was going to change now, and I had to keep. Though my distrust of Si-yeir only grew, for he only saved me. He left me with more questions than answers.

  Just something about him was off. He wasn’t giving me all the information, or he was hiding something. I had to get to the bottom of what was happening here, and if my brother was still out there. Si-yeir's motivations had to be known to me, and what he was doing here. But most of all, I needed to know if my brother Aubin was still alive. Hopefully, he was, and that's all I had, hope. I sat down, beyond tired of today. My thoughts faded to nothing as I fell asleep.